Two October Birthdays, One October Anniversary

October is a very big month here at Casa hush. First comes DD's birthday, followed a week later by our wedding anniversary (7 Year Itch, anyone?), then DS's birthday, then Halloween.

If we had known then that we'd be so fertile around Christmastime, we probably would have re-thought the whole fall wedding idea. That said, I remain a huge fan of fall weddings. We got married in a large-ish Midwestern city, on one of those unseasonably warm, sunny October Saturdays. It was something like 70 degrees outside. We were such lucky bastards.

Every year on our anniversary we break out the photo album. This was the first year the kids really noticed the photos, and seemed to enjoy looking at them. I have to pat myself on the back a little bit: my wedding gown has aged really well. It was a form-fitting, lace-embellished gown, in the style of Monique Lhuillier. I think some of our guests thought it looked very conservative and maybe even a bit grannyish back in 2004, but it would fit right in with today's bridal fashions. Of all people, it was my mother who convinced me that it was, in fact, The Dress. She urged me not to go with the type of strapless, poufy skirt number that was all the rage circa 2001-2005. That was the first and only piece of fashion advice my mother ever gave me. And 7 years later, I still have to say: Hey thanks, mom. You were right.

So, DD is now 2 and DS is now 4. We no longer have any children in diapers, nor drinking from bottles, nor sleeping in cribs. Mostly we all sleep fine at night - if they wake up and get lonely, the kids just crawl into our ginormous bed. We seriously thought this time would never come. It is so good.

Halloween is the last of our Big 4 October events. We have 2 parties to go to this weekend, and on Monday we'll do some trick-or-treating in our friends' neighborhood. We live too far out in the country to ever get any trick-or-treaters ourselves. DS wants to dress up as either Iron Man or Captain America. Bummer. The days of my son in cute, cuddly Halloween attire are apparently over. DD is going as a bumble bee. I know it won't be long before she asks to be a frickin' princess. Gah. My friend who is Halloween-obsessed and also has a 4-year-old, was lamenting the fact that her daughter chose a "racy kitten" costume this year. Major bummer.

In other news, there is an older girl at DS's school who has a major crush on him. She keeps drawing him notes with stories and pictures depicting their future together. It is really too funny. The girl's mom approached me after class yesterday and joked about how we're going to be future in-laws. DS seems oblivious to it, and simply says "yeah, she's my friend." I think it's his utter nonchalance that keeps her coming back for more.

The Proper Responses?

Sometimes I just don't know what to say in a particular situation. I wish I were one of those people who can think clearly on their feet, and who immediately knows *exactly* what to say in response to something someone says that is outrageously off. (I generally think of a good response several hours or days later.) Anyway, twice this week I found myself on the receiving end of 2 very awkward comments from 2 different people in Podunkville. Allow me to share them and get your feedback.

The first outrageously odd comment, to which naturally I didn't know at all how to respond, came from my neighbor, a woman about my age who has 2 kids about my kids' ages. Our kids were playing when suddenly she brought up the local elementary school close to our homes and said the following: "Now, I'm not a racist or anything, but I'm not comfortable sending my son to a school where he'll be the only white kid in class and will have no friends." She mentioned that several white families she knows have opted out of the school in fear of the putative majority Latino presence there.

Wow. First of all, whenever anyone prefaces any statement with the assertion "I'm not a racist or anything, but..." it means they're about to say something crazy racist!

Secondly, on all of the basic educational metrics people usually like to examine in order to make such school comparisons, it's not even close: our neighborhood school has been nationally-recognized for excellent test scores; and also has the benefit of small class sizes, and an extremely cohesive team of teachers using an educational model proven by peer-reviewed research. Yes, my neighbor is correct - there is a sizeable Latino population at the school, however the numbers show that her white son would certainly NOT be in the "minority."

I'm appalled that she thinks that the racial make-up of a potential class even matters - that is, it seems to matter to her if whites are not the super-majority. Because she hates the very idea of her kids associating with Mexican-American kids so much, she's planning to send her children to a different school that is mediocre on every measure - with lower test scores, larger class sizes, and where she'll have to drive them and have a longer commute. Seriously, I give up.

When someone says something racist, and moreover, doesn't even have their basic facts straight about the topic, where do you even begin? Ugh.

My actual response was something borderline incoherent, followed by "Well, have you actually visited the school or talked to any of the teachers or the administrators? I can also give you the names of several parents with multiple kids who go there and absolutely love it...."

WTF, right?

Moving on to the 2nd awkward Podunkville comment of the week. If you're still reading, it's not nearly as awful as the first comment, it's just irritating. I'll be brief. In fact, I'll just paraphrase what was said.

Bottom line: when someone you know earns upwards of $300k/year after taxes, and their only debt is a reasonable mortgage on a home they got for a steal (it's their only debt because their father is uber wealthy and paid for all schooling/professional degrees), and yet they routinely mention how "poor" and how "on a really tight budget" they are, and how they simply can't afford to pay for new clothes for their kid, and get all 'woe is me' when the bill comes? Um, yeah. Not getting a lot of sympathy from me. But what does one say when presented with icky comments about it, that have zero basis in economic reality?

Ok, so, obviously, I have a problem with 1) statements made from a place of racism, and with 2) people not bothering to get their basic educational facts straight before turning their backs on a perfectly good public school, and also with 3) objectively affluent people bitching about things they think they can't afford, when really they're just cheap and probably extremely selfish. Good to know these triggers about myself!

How do you handle your triggers when they come up in a conversation? Do you know what to say at the right moment? Do you say anything at all?

American Horror Story, and a play dough obsession

Anyone have too much time on their hands and need another TV show to start watching? Want to be scared shitless by a TV show with only a mere TV-MA rating?

Then you need to start watching American Horror Story on FX. It debuted on Oct 5th, so catch the second episode tomorrow night, Oct 12. It stars recognizable-faced Dylan McDermott, Vera Farmiga's little sister, the fabulous Ms. Jessica Lange, and one of my personal favorite character actors in the history of ever, Mr. Denis O'Hare (aka Russell Edgington from True Blood).

The premise? A therapist's family getting over some late-term miscarriage and infidelity trauma moves into a haunted house in L.A., and of course all hell breaks loose!

Don't say I didn't warn you - it's SCEERY!

In other news, I take DD to an organized playgroup one morning a week. It is so precious to hear her call her new little playmates by name, and ask for them repeatedly after we go home. I love how she adorably mispronounces some of their names.

DS is apparently obsessed with play dough at Montessori. So much so that his teacher approached me to talk about how we might encourage him to branch out into trying some of the other works available to him at school. I replaced all of the off-brand play doh we'd been using at home (which DS told his teacher was too hard,) and that he liked the softer dough at school better. Then we encouraged DS to play with the new dough all weekend, which he did, happily. We'll see if this helps him get over his obsession, or whether it just continues to feed it. His explanation? "I just really love it."

Makes perfect sense to me.

Sitters Who Just Can't Handle Vegas

My DD turned 2 yesterday. Wow. I can't even begin to put into words how blissfully happy and how incredibly sad that makes me. She is our last child. Loads of "womb wistfulness" just like @caramama says. Amen.

We had a fantastic, fantastic, much-needed trip. We ate the shit out of the Big City. Saw my flaky, yet golden-hearted BFF and her new baby. Glad we could make that happen. I feel great about it. I also feel great about my marriage. Hard to believe we ever needed counseling (boy, did we though.)

Came home to an odd conversation from the woman who watches one or both of my kids a couple days a week so I can work. Apparently, her third daughter, who just started Kindergarten one month ago, is having a hard time 1) adjusting to leaving her house for school in the morning, and 2) eating lunch at school without her mother present. Let me clarify: her daughter loves her teacher, loves what she is learning in school once she actually gets there, but throws a tantrum and locks herself in the bathroom every morning that her mother is not there to personally escort her to school. Neither her aunt nor her 2 older sisters have been able to reach her. And she is apparently losing weight due to not eating at school unless her mother is there. The actual food quality is not the issue, it is just that she won't eat it unless her mother is there. Can you say 'Holy Manipulation, Batman!?' And she's been to the doctor with a lot of what I think is 100% psychosomatic stuff going on this month. I get it: this is a little, 5.5-year-old kid who Just Can't Be Without Her Mother. And a mother with Good Intentions But Very Poor Boundaries.

What I don't get is our sitter's chosen response to the behavior. Instead of finding some way to deal with the child's behavior, and actually work with her on it, she thinks she needs to acquiesce and just quit working so that she can be present at her daughter's school every day at drop off and lunch. WTF? This is the thought that apparently entered her mind when she told me about it: "Hmm, I'll ask my employer to give me 2 weeks off, and then I'll finally decide if I'm going to come back or not."

Um, it doesn't usually work that way.

Unfortunately, we don't live in a place with any decent daycare, nor with any sort of nanny placement agency. Sitters are all found via word of mouth, which actually works quite well in a small town with a strong rumor mill, but the lead time is very long. Ugh. Wish us luck, please. Because there is no work/life balance happening at my house right now!

I know what you're thinking. "Fire her! This is some unprofessional shizz on top of some other unprofessional shizz!" But seriously? I simply can't right now. There is no one else to replace her. Work-wise I'm so screwed if she leaves now. So I need her to hang in there for just a few more weeks. I need good help - a known quantity who I can trust both with my kids and my valuables. You'd be shocked at how hard that is to come by in Podunkville. We've tried. Say what I will about her choices vis-a-vis her Kindergartner, and her predilection for Too Much Honesty with me, her hapless employer; I know my kids are thriving in her care, and we're better off with her in our lives at this time.

The logistics of life really, really suck sometimes.

I just need someone who will show up for just 11 more months! Then DD can go to the Montessori preschool, and I can BREATHE.

Am I the only one out there with sitters who just can't handle Vegas?

P.S. Bonus points if anyone knows that movie reference.

Before I Leave Town

We're heading out of town tomorrow for a week-long trip to visit family and friends in the Midwest. This will include 3 days, 3 nights of away-from-the-kids time for just me and DH. Can't wait! We desperately need to recharge the marital batteries. Short getaways always do us a world of good.

We're really lucky that my folks are so unbelievably awesome with our kids. They beg us to take trips like this where they watch the kids so we can have some alone time. And the kids beg for it, too. DS has been counting down the days, and planning all of the things they're going to do together in the Bigger City. The excitement in the house is palpable.

Also on the books is a visit with one of my BFF's, S, who just had her second baby at the end of August - her son is almost 3. Planning the part of the visit where we hope to see her has actually been a huge pain in the ass. You see, S has many, many amazing qualities, but is just not a very organized person in general. Even before she had kids, she typically was 30-45 minutes late to everything. Since adding kids to her life, now multiply that number by a thousand, and you're still not even close to the level of tardiness she's capable of. That being said, she is hands down one of the most caring, genuine people I know, so I put up with her little quirk (and she puts up with loads more of mine, I'm sure.)

S originally wanted to meet us in the Big City where she lives for dinner. Then she changed her mind and asked us to drive an hour and a half to her parents house to meet there on a Saturday night, after having flown halfway across the country, even though her own house is in the Big City. Then she realized we weren't planning on renting a car, so she said she'd meet us in the Big City at 7:30pm after her son goes to bed, and they want to bring the baby which is fine. So we're taking that to mean we had better go have dinner by ourselves somewhere at 5pm, and plan to meet up with her at like 8:30pm at the earliest somewhere else. Big ginormous eyeroll.

For reasons I'll explain, I've been feeling like not so special a person to her lately. But I'm trying to temper those feelings with a dose of reality. (She's just had a baby! Give her a break!) In short: she took 2 weeks after her normal, healthy, vaginally-delivered baby was born to finally call and tell me about it personally. Yes, truthfully, I was kind of bummed that the woman I think of as one of my 2 best friends in the world chose to deliver me the news of her baby's birth via a text message from her DH to my DH, which simply said 'it's a girl,' and gave the date and time... It then took another week for me to get the mass email telling me the baby's name and sharing a picture. Ugh. Not necessarily the communication choices I would make for an event one generally has 9 months notice on. I think the kicker is that her mother is taking 100% care of her and her family for the next month. She has literally moved into her parents home to be doted on, and she loves it. (Man, I'm jealous.) But then again, with all of that help she still couldn't manage to find 5 minutes to pick up the phone? I know, I know. I need to cut her some slack. She's a new mom again. It sucks. And she's disorganized as all hell to begin with. It so clearly is not personal. I know the last thing she'd ever want to do is hurt one of her best friends. But still. I'm hurt.

I have this assumption I walk around with that goes something like: "You make time for the things and the people who are truly important to you. You may say someone is important, but if you didn't make the time for them, they truly weren't that important to you." And I tend to view others' actions as though they share my worldview. From my own experiences, I just can't wrap my head around treating a friend that way. Even though I had zero unpaid helpers with both of my postpartum experiences, I still managed to put together a list of people to call from the hospital. So to me, that equals a bare minimum standard that I apparently am expecting her to uphold without ever having mentioned it. ;) This is where I suck as a person - I have these great expectations for myself and sometimes I put them on to other people, and get disappointed. Then I finally have a moment of clarity: "Oh, my Type A way is not normal?" Yeah. Having one of those moments right now!

Talk to me before I get out of town!

True Blood recap - S4, E12 Finale

Goodbye, Season 4! All things considered, I thought this episode was a rather nice send-off.

Except the I Choose Neither of You scene. Huh? I don't get it.

Why not date them both! You haven't even been outside of Bon Temps yet with Eric. You still think you have been fired from your job! You have nothing but time on your hands. GO ON VACATION with one or both of these men, Sookie. Get to know them. See the world. Live it up. Gah - her line of reasoning just made no sense to me. Moving along..

Farewell, Jesus! Now that was a total shocker. It seems that the fate of Tara and Lafayette must be to each lose the one they love at the hands of something supernatural. That was a horrible, horrible scene with the knife and Marnie's threats. Ugh, hard to watch. Lafayette should probably be a bit worried about being charged with murder - might be an interesting test case of the "I was possessed by an evil, dead witch" defense. My gut tells me Bon Temps isn't exactly a place where a black man can get a fair trial.

Sayonara, Nan Flanagan! I kind of saw that coming. Nobody calls King Beel and Sheriff Eric Northman 'puppies' and lives to tell of it. Clearly, The Authority and the "Factions" within in will be a major theme next season along with....

RUSSELL EDGINGTON! Welcome back, you! He makes me happy. Such a fantastic little villian. Glad he clawed his way out of the concrete (and like, duh, of course he was going to). By my calculations he was underground for about 13+ months. Long enough to go uber-crazy-crazy. Even crazier than his initial, televised spinal column ripping, You Killed My Talbot! batshit crazy. Watch your ass, Sookie.

And Sookie, you'd better watch out for Pam, too. I think it takes a lot of pain to make Pam cry like a babe in the arms of Sweet, soon-to-be-glamoured-again-for-the-bazillionth-time, Ms. Ginger. I don't know about that scene though. Something was off. The humor in that scene, busting on Sookie while bawling, now that part I totally buy. Pam is probably a lot more patient than that overreaction illustrated. But anyway, we get it: she loves her maker.

Adios, Debbie Pelt! We're in book territory now. If memory serves, that's also how Charlaine H took her out. Minus the part of course where Tara is about to die on Sookie's kitchen floor with a massively bleeding gunshot wound to the head. Nice cliffhanger, ABall! Which vamp will run through Sookie's door first? (Wait, did this all happen during nighttime? Yes, I think so.) I predict one of Sookie's vamps is going to have to turn Tara to save her. And I think it will be Eric. And I think this will make Pam positively apoplectic in addition to the state she is already in.

Jessica made one sexy Little Red Riding Hood. That's how you do Sexy Halloween Costume. And yes, Hoyt's analysis of Jason missing something inside was spot-friggin'-on. But you know what I've been wondering about? The perma-hymen. No mention of it yet with Jason. Hmm...

So Rene's ghost made a Halloween appearance - I loved Arlene's reaction. (You know, only bad things happen by that green dumpster in the back of Merlotte's.) Ghost Rene says Terry's new ex-platoon buddy is going to turn Terry into a Bad Guy, and Arlene needs to get Baby Michael out of there. Should be an interesting storyline next season.

Your thoughts?

p.s. The next TV show I'm going to recap weekly will be AMC's Mad Men, whenever the new season comes out in 2012. Hope you'll join me!

True Blood recap - S4, E11

I felt like this episode was only like 30 minutes long tops. It was really action-packed. And I can hardly believe the season finale is next week. Holy hell!

So many things about this ep totally cracked me up. Lafayette proclaiming: "Marnie just puked the bitch out!" Jason going down the row of 4 vamps telling each one off in turn. Andy Bellefleur's woods wandering then sexy romp with a putative fairy. Andy telling Arlene all about it in funny/bizarre detail. Her reaction. Priceless. I wonder what Andy's pinky promise to this fairy is going to mean for him next season. Could she be Sookie's actual fairy godmother?

There was some of that wild and crazy mix of the grotesque with the hilarious. Eric ripping Marnie's right hand man's heart out, and then sucking blood from the main artery as though it were a drinking straw, before tossing it to the floor. Eew. But funny. I love how this show can pull that off. Welcome back, Real Eric.

Pam busting out the bazooka that could have killed Sookie - you know, maybe Eric should have used a little foresight here. Of course Pam is going to have a Sookie problem given all that has transpired! And if you think about it, Pam truly has Eric's best interests at heart. Perhaps Sookie is not an appropriate love object for Eric given that she also loves King Beel. Really, no good can come from it. It is hazardous to the health of everyone involved. (And they have no chemistry, but I digress. ) Anyway, as a 1000-year-old, with the incredible wisdom that has got to come from all that experience, it seems to me Eric could have simply used a little of that "as your maker I command you" stuff to get Pam to come around. Now they're having a little tiff. Hmm...

Jessica, that was good of you to save pretty Jason's face with your blood.

Marcus met his maker at the hands of... Alcide. Not Sam, even though Marcus killed his brother. Because it looked to Alcide like he was screwing Debbie. But actually nothing really happened between them, even though she was scantily clad and sitting on her bed-- right? We saw the Scary Yellow Eyes again that I hate. Alcide needs to work on managing his macho dick shit. Now Debbie is going to run off, and do loads more V, and eventually come after Sookie like in the books, right? Nooooo!!! Can't say I'm loving this were storyline anymores...

Your thoughts?

Not on FB, But My Kid's Preschool Is

I got the following email from DS's Montessori teacher today:

"Dear Parents,

I've created a private parent forum on facebook. The purpose of this
forum is to provide a place to share Spanish language resources,
promote parent interaction, and encourage each other in providing
Spanish instruction to our child/ren.

In order for me to give you access to this site, I need you to log
onto facebook and look for: [Teacher's Name] and ask to be added as a
friend. Once I have you as a friend (thank you by the way), I'll add
you to the parent forum. I'll also add a widget on the homepage of
the school so you can easily click onto the forum..."

I know, I know. Everyone and their mother is on FB. I note the assumption of such in the email's first line.

This sucks, because DH and I have basically made a pact not to be on FB while the kids are tiny. We will reconsider it once they're older. No judgments to those who are on FB and love it (which is like 80% of everyone we know)! This is merely a lifestyle choice we've made due to the fact we live in a ridiculously small town, and we want to zealously guard our privacy, and we want to spend less time online (says the woman who blogs)...

Anyway, I want to let the teacher know, and see what the options are for getting the info the school want us to have but without the hassle of being on FB. Ugh. I don't want the tone of my email to come across as "off" though, and I'm afraid it will. Gah!

Montessori Day One, Or Why Did I Ever Worry?

On my clock, I've only got 20 minutes of "summer" left. Forget what the calendar says about the actual beginnings and endings of seasons around the solstices [would the plural of that be 'solsti'?]. I define "summer" as any day in June, July, and August. Full stop. Let me enjoy my incorrect assumption please.

There is something sucky about the week leading up to Labor Day. The end of American summer. The start of school. Suddenly it gets noticeably cooler. The waterparks and pools are about to close. Halloween decor is all of the sudden every-damn-where you look. I no longer feel as comfy sporting my white jeans, madras print, and jute tote bag. I notice it is actually dark at 9pm.

My firstborn "baby," who'll turn 4 in about 7 weeks, started half day, drop off, bilingual English/Spanish Montessori preschool today. We had been talking about it all month. Literally, All Month Long. You see, my Mr. Spirited seems to do best with lots and lots of notice about upcoming transitions.

"You're going to Montessori in a few weeks, so-and-so will be there, Mama and Daddy won't go into the classroom with you because you need time to be with your friends, your works, and your teachers, then we'll pick you up when class is dismissed. And you get to wear special McQueen slippers only at school...."

To which DS usually responded with "Are we going today? You mean today-today??"... "I don't want to be dropped off!" ... "Why can't you come in the classroom with me?"... "What are you going to do while I'm at school?"... "No, Mama! I want you to take me with you while you do your work and run errands!"... "I don't want to speak Spanish!"

We drove up at 8am today. One of the teachers was waiting by the door. I was fully expecting a tearful goodbye, with DS kicking and screaming. Nope. DS bid a cheerful "Hola!" to the teacher and ran right into the school. Without so much as a goodbye. See ya! So I handed the teacher his things, and got the eff out of there before DS changed his mind.

At the 11:45am pickup, DS was the last kid out of the classroom. He didn't want to leave.

Tonight, all he did was talk about school. He mentioned the names of a boy and a girl he wants to be friends with. He told me that the teachers don't allow any candy at school, and that if he uses naughty words or fights with the other kids, he'll be "kicked right out." (Um, pretty sure they didn't say it quite like that. Gotta love preschooler speak!) He demanded I take him back there tomorrow.

They say today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. ;) Wishing you many smooth transitions.

True Blood recaps - S4, E9... and E10!

I've been away on a little vacay, but I'm back now. And I've finally watched the most recent 2 episodes. I feel like this show is definitely back in the saddle again. Now that all is right with my world, let's begin with a little SPOILER-tastic recap of Episode 9, a.k.a. the one that I will recall forever as "That Episode Where Sookie Dreamed of a Threesome with Eric and Beel**...

** As Seen Through the Eyes of a Horny 18-Year-old Straight Guy Who Clearly Watches Too Much HBO."

First of all, during the aforementioned scene, Sookie looked like she would fit right in as one of Hef's girlfriends at the Playboy Mansion. No stylistic complaints here, however... I just felt like there was this overwhelming straight male gaze thing going on, and it just messed it all up for me and I suddenly went into critique mode. It didn't really ring true as the sort of feminist-y dream I'd like to think Sookie would actually have. (Perhaps the double shots of V is to blame? Nah, just the producers at HBO.) It was as though her "dream" was more performative for the straight male HBO audience instead of what an authentic, empowered Sookie who loves both of these vampires and wants open relationships with both of them on her own terms would REALLY be all about. Because you know if this were the dream of say, Jason Stackhouse, and 2 imagined women he loves there would of course be some hot faux lesbian tropes being trotted out. But alas, there was not even a hint of sexual tension between Beel and Eric (and BTW, R.I.P. Queen Sophie-Anne. They should have just had sex already. I would have loved to have seen that, too, honey.)

Moving on... I personally hated the Scary Yellow Werewolf Eyes thingy. Debbie, I love that you were watching "Cheaters" in bed and then pretended to be asleep. Alcide sucks like that. Too bad it is interfering with your addiction recovery.

The "Go to the Light" scene under the tree in Hoyt's yard was a nice mix of funny/sad/campy. I heart Terry Bellefleur so much for his "We still love you, Lafayette" line. Nelsan Ellis played Lafayette to perfection as usual. So "Virgil" is the name of the no good very bad girlfriend and baby son murderer? I predict a clever backstory in the future, and am wondering if it has anything to do with the Bellefleur/Compton family tree.

Nan Flanagan's gratitude at never having been a maker after Jess' bloody-eyed breakdown totally cracked me up - reminded me of Pam's reaction last season to meeting Arlene's kids at Fangtasia. Is Nan perhaps more good than evil or vice versa? From his basement sleeping chamber for 3, I think Beel simply needs to replay the tape for The Authority of Nan's insistence that the Tolerance Event go on as planned despite all of these spellbound necromanced vamps running around. Yes, but as Nan says "there are Factions"... and that will probably be highly relevant next season.

Sam and Luna on a camping trip where he turns into a bunny for her daughter = precious, but also made me think "vulnerable." And Fatal Attraction-esque, which might be spot on when you factor Marcus into the equation.

Jason and Jess in the back of his pickup truck. Oh man - I hear New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" playing. No discussion of the perpetually recurring hymen though. Jason is a shitty, shitty friend. On to the next episode -

Episode 10 = Sookie in Peril! I liked the silhouette of Alcide running and carrying her through the woods - it evoked some classic Hollywood cinema for me. Then those silly, creepy yellow eyes again - nooo! Now Eric is a zombie! But seems to have retained a little residual love connection with Sookie. Then dying Sookie drinks more of Beel's blood and it even removes bullets! I adored the pained subtlety in Beel's face as he and Alcide watched over Sookie on her sofa. Fantastic acting there; beautiful scene before the opening credits.

The Tolerance Event turned out to be a real shitshow, natch. I soooo did not need to see the Hannibal Lecter-esque synchronized intestine popping out routine though. Sookie used the fairy force and brought Eric's memory back (I liked how they showed that in flashback format, starting with Viking life) while simultaneously saving Beel's life. But one thing fucked it up for me and it was THAT GODAWFUL SWEATSHIRT WITH THE HEARTS ON IT! Um, 1987 called and Blossom wants her sweatshirt back. NOOOOO!!!!

So real Eric is back, huh? And he "loves" Sookie. Hmm... I'm still not believing it. The acting and the chemistry is just off. Nice scene though between Sookie and Eric in the parlor at Beel's when Pam shows up. Yes, why didn't he summon her immediately? I'd be disappointed, too, Pam. Yeah, I don't think Pam and Sookie are going to be all buddy buddy like in the books.

Holly and Tara chanting in Latin to try to bust out of the MGE? Though it reminded me of the chanting Tara and the residents on BT did when under Maryanne's influence. Wonder if that is at all significant.

Jessica refusing to glamour Jason because she herself will have to remember it and feel the guilt? YES! I say Amen, Jess!

Debbie and Marcus? Ugh. Seriously, Debbie. How can you go from the likes of hot Cooter and dreamy Alcide to that short guy with a fugly weird hairline. Again, It Must Be the V making you do it.

I loved Terry's rehab of Andy at Camp Bellefleur. Seeing Andy try to wrestle him was hysterical.

Tommy Mickens' deathbed scene was... what's the word I'm looking for? Gross. Yes, I believe that's it. Was the foaming, gurgling bloody mouth really necessary, people? But hey, it brought Alcide and Sam together.

Lafayette saying "It's a Latin Thing" to explain Jesus's Dia de Los Muertos-looking changing head was excellent. It's that wonderful mix of funny/scary again that this show does so well.

The very last scene was a bit much: The Vamps vs. Marnie in a Matrix-style showdown where they're just going to blow the place up and be done with it. No supercool vampire powers will be used? Just gonna wear black, walk in slow motion to some rockin' music, and launch some bazookas, eh? You might as well be humans.

Your thoughts?

My 100th Post

This is my 101st blog post. Hurrah, hurrah. I stuck with blogging longer than I thought I ever would, and I plan to keep at it because what can I say, I really, really need this outlet in my life. I'm doing a looong sentence in Podunkville and I seriously would not be able to get though it without you anonymous lovelies out there, somewhere. Anyway, in my head this is kind of bizarrely reminiscent of the 100th episode of "Friends" where the adorable 6-some broke character afterwards, interacted with the fawning studio audience/laugh track, and all patted themselves on the back (it was a show I never liked, BTW, but my roomie back in the day was obsessed, and owned the TV, so let's just say I'd probably fare ok in a "Friends" trivia game scenario). I'm going to go eat a self-congratulatory cookie now.

Thanks for reading me, y'all.

I think in honor of this not-very-momentous occasion, we should have a listen to the delightful Mr. Samuel L. Jackson's hilarious reading of "Go The F*ck to Sleep" - here.

SLJ cracks my shit up. Just hearing him always puts me in a better mood. In fact, I own the movie "Snakes on a Plane" and am known to make visitors to my home watch the scene where Jackson busts out with "I'm sick of these muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' plane!!" Cinematic gold, I tell you.

In other news, DS starts at the new bilingual Montessori next week. I think it is going to be a hellacious transition, full of a lot of missing his mama, but hopefully it will eventually turn out ok. Maybe he'll finally start speaking the Spanish we all know he understands. I'm told I should just drop him off and get the hell out of there ASAP. That way, I won't be around to be embarrassed when the teachers hear DS scream "fucking bitch!!" once he realizes I've driven off. (No joke there, that's truly what I think he'll say. Picking up colorful phrases like that are the downside of watching too much HBO at one's house.) Conventional wisdom I trust tells me the longer preschool parents linger and the more they act all ambivalent, the longer the painful reaction from the child - or so they all say. Ugh, who knows?

DD is finally daytime potty trained. Ican'teffinbelieveitthankyoulittlebabyjeebus! That's the good. The bad? She dropped her nap and is overtired from like 2-6pm, she yells at me pretty much all the damn time, and has hair that looks like Donald Trump's whenever I'm around because the minute I walk through the door she immediately rips out whatever cute barette her babysitter had lovingly styled into her hair. My little rebel. ;)

How's your summer (or winter, depending) winding up?

True Blood recap - S4, E8

I think Pam's hilarious line "This is fucking lame" in response to Beel commanding her never to harm Tara, has got to be the best, most accurate summation of the events of this wacky "Spellbound?" episode.

Where do I begin? Let's start with what was good.

Lafayette. So fucking funny, and such a wonderful scene stealer, as always. I'm enjoying the unveiling of the backstory of the female spirit who has jumped into Lafayette's body. Now the creepy doll that was originally found in Hoyt and Jessica's house but kept showing up again, even after Jess threw it into the lake, is finally making some sense. Apparently, Hoyt's home is the same one that the spirit's no good-very bad white married lover used to live in. And something awful happened to their baby son. Honestly, that was the most intriguing story within this episode.

Second most intriguing bit to watch was the sad unraveling of Hoyt and Jess's relationship. Am I sick because I enjoyed Jess' juicy/sadistic dream of how it ended so much more than how it actually ended? At least she didn't glamour Hoyt this time; Jess has finally learned the wisdom of that old adage 'you gotta be cruel to be kind.'

I'm surprised Jason could resist her extremely sexy vamp charms - actually, this is one of the characteristics I like best about Jessica: she is still really only 18-ish years old and is trying to negotiate her vampire identity, and she screws things up a lot. Getting disinvited on the same damn night from the homes of 2 male mortals who are extremely attracted to her? Wow. Jess needs to hang out with Pam more.

And Beel! I'm surprised at how much I'm liking King Beel, and loathing Forgetting Eric, although Eric's idea to run away with Sookie is about the only thing that made much sense in this episode.

In short: we need more Pam, more Lafayette, more Arlene, more Lettie Mae, hell, I'll even take more of Andy Bellefleur's crazy cracker-ness.

Now, on to the bad....

The way Jason saved Jessica in Beel's foyer just did not ring true for me. Am I the only one who felt this scene violated some rules of vampire physics? As in a human could not just tackle a vampire to the ground. And then carry her around Beel's basement and tuck her into silver chains all romantic like? It just seemed off.

Eric and Sookie. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! I've been as patient with you fakers as I can be. You simply have no chemistry. I don't believe for a minute that you're in lurve and want to have sex with each other. That bed romp in the snowy woods was laughable. (Even my DH said so, after the scene was over he turned to me and said "You must be really disappointed." Exactly.) And the worst part was they had to go and tease us with what started to look like The Shower Scene of the books, but devolved into some silly, fairytale-ish camp with nonsensical dialogue and fur blankets carefully covering all of the naughty bits. HBO, I know you can do better. Stop being so tasteful already. Look, I know Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are newlyweds, and therefore maybe she and Alexander Skarsgard are feeling pressure to hold back and that's what's coming across... I don't know. What I do know is I'm not sure I can stomach much more of this. Let's hope the spell Antonia cast on Eric will bring the mojo back.

Alcide, why did you have to go and make a promise to Debbie that you knew you were going to break that very same night? Figure your shit out! In the meantime, do feel free to serve us up a steamy sex scene with Sooks, or Debbie, complete with lots of close ups.

Tara, why are you such a follower? I really do want to like you, but I'm tired. Stop being so literal.

Tommy Mickens, forget the blood and guts all over the neighbor's sidewalk - watching you skinwalk as Maxine was the grossest thing in this episode. Did I actually hear you offer to screw the salesman while skinwalking as Maxine in exchange for a better financial deal? Yikes! New low there.

Your thoughts?

True Blood recap - S4, E7

Hands down, this was one of the all-time sceeeriest TB episodes yet. (Jessica, don't die!!) I don't know about you, but watching Jess escape from the chains and the cell, then ignore Beel's freaky command as her maker, and finally crawl across Beel's foyer freaked me right the eff out. And yet, the cutaway to the scene with Maxine Fortenberry's foam hair roller-clad neighbor suddenly bursting into flames ("I knew it!") had me totally cracking up. Yet another great mix of the sceeery and the funny.

I really enjoyed the sweet conversation between Jess and Beel. I don't know how Jason is going to save the day on this one.

Oh, Tara. (I think I like Toni better, too.) Um, do you see a pattern here? Your penchant for blindly following powerful women with names that begin with the letter M, who suddenly turn out to be all supernatural and nihilistic? I predict Sookie is going to get Eric to somehow call off Pam's bloodfeud against you.

Pam, glad you finally got your fabulous self to "the healing kind" of doctor. The thought of an eternity of vamp botox would make me want to rip someone's throat out, too - You Tube be damned. Oh, and I heart you so very much for that pink coffin. Ginger definitely deserves a raise.

Eric and Sookie, somehow I'm just not feeling the afterglow. There was a lot of "Do I really want my memory back?/Will you still love me once I remember all the sociopathic things I've done for the last 1000 years?"-ish discussion. Which made me start to question their overall strategy: since Eric has all of these fabulous residences all over the world, and since Sookie still thinks "Sam" fired her, and clearly they're ambivalent about getting Eric's memory back in the first place, AND just about the only thing they're 100% certain of is their desire to keep Eric from daywalking, then pray tell why not just fly off to Eric's apartment in Paris, or even his "windy shithole" of a farm in Sweden? But no. Instead they choose to wait it out in friggin' Bon Temps, Louisiana? This would be the TB equivalent of people who see a tornado coming and choose to watch it from the roof of their double wide.

Speaking of people who ain't feeling the afterglow - Alcide and Debbie stumbling upon Eric and Sookie in the woods? Ugh. Yeah, I can see why Debbie might start getting a little crazy about this whole dynamic of 'I so obviously am obsessed with Sookie but won't admit it.' Snap out of it, Alcide! You're making ME crazy.

Lafayette, ok so now we know you're a medium, and you see dead people whispering to demon babies in your kitchen. Kind of sucks to be you - but your talent is probably going to end up saving all the vamps of Louisiana and maybe even the world, too. Marnie is the only other person on the show to have your gift. I think that's significant.

Andy Bellefleur, you are one of my favorite hot messes on the show.

Tommy Mickens, you are not.

Luna, I hope you get to enjoy a little piece of the real Sam Merlotte sometime.

True Blood recap - S4, E6

See, I was sure King Beel wasn't about to actually kill Eric. What would TB be without Eric? I was surprised by how moved I was by Eric's dying declarations, although they seemed so very, very un-Eric-like. He loves Sookie and just wants her to be happy - and clearly Beel feels the same. Reminds me of post-Enlightenment Godric, actually. I'm kind of starting to miss the old Eric of the badass, hilarious, stylish, Barbarian, "Viking god" variety. Gran did tell Sookie via her psychic enemy that this was only temporary. And I hope for Pam's sake this is all only temporary.

So we didn't get the infamous Shower Scene from the books, we instead got a lovely, tasteful Moonlit Woods Scene. I don't mean to complain. Really. But, and I'm just wondering here, why were there no close-ups?! I mean, could that camera have been any further away from the action? I honestly couldn't tell if Eric was actually making love to Sookie or if they were just hooking up. And I even watched that scene more times than it is probably normal to admit, but I still couldn't quite tell. Even though it was a bit faux sex/Skin-e-max-tastic for me, it was still a great scene though. Bizarrely, I think this is the first time I've ever wished for a more graphic depiction of something on TB! And I loved the "I Wish I Were the Moon" song that went with it - so perfect for the weary Beel on his balcony scene. Not sure if I totally loved the song for that particular Sookie and Eric moment though. (Do you happen to know the person who wrote that song, too, @mom2boy? Reminded me of Mazzy Star. I should look it up.)

Big sigh of relief time - Jason is not a werepanther! Can I just say how happy that makes me? I wish the Hot Shot storyline would go the same way as the Mickens storyline. Speaking of which, brilliant call about the significance of Luna's skinwalker story in the last post's comments @Haley! Watching Tommy pass himself off as Sam was seriously creepy, though I thought Sam Trammel did such an amazing job with the acting - it really seemed like Tommy was Sam. Impressive. And can I just say poor, poor Luna. That sucks.

Jessica suddenly running off to "save" Jason, who says such funny/idiotic things, was a really fun exchange to watch. "Think of somewhere safe" (he gazes at her cleavage.) It was nice to see Jessica happy at last as a vamp. You know, seeing her with Hoyt reminds me though of those high school sweetheart/long-distance relationships that people sometimes maintained once they went off to college. Good Guy, but... I'm also wondering if vampire medicine has come up with a cure for unwanted hymen regrowth.

I also enjoyed the fire scene and it's aftermath over at Arlene and Terry's. Loved the awkward scene between Sheriff Andy and Holly - yet another amazing character actress on the show. Who is the mysterious young African-American woman Baby Mikey saw, dressed in 1950's style clothes? I'm pretty sure she's benevolent. I noticed that the shot of her whispering cut over to a shot of Lafayette holding Jesus - I sense a connection there between her and Lafayette's family. Maybe Lettie Mae somehow attracted one of their Thornton/Reynolds family ancestors who is watching over all of them?

I'm starting to get a tad more interested in the Alcide and Debbie Pelt storyline. Funny, I was watching the first of the recent Tobey Maguire as Spiderman movies from a few years back, and noticed that actor Joe Manganiello also played the bully who goes after Peter Parker in the middle of the hallway and gets spidey-punched down the hallway. He looks so much better as Alcide. So far I find the Debbie Pelt of the show much more intriguing than Book Debbie.

As for Lafayette and Jesus - what a crazy, unpredicted scene with the rattlesnake sacrifice! Yikes! Crazy Grandpa Brujo seems to have suggested vis-a-vis the blood magic that Marnie/Antonia is actually their real enemy, and that Lafayette is really the one with the magic in him - and now some creepy looking uncle spirit currently inhabiting him has been added to the magical mix. My money always has been, always will be on Lala.

Now about Antonia Galvan(?), the O.G. witch who once caused all vamps in a 20-mile radius to meet the sun... She has got to be one of the most sympathetic supposed "villians" I've seen in awhile. Vampire Sheriff Luis? Hear that sound? That's rough justice calling. You best be kissing your rapist ass goodbye right about now. Can you blame her (or Tara?) for thinking the world would be a kinder, gentler place sans vampires? That's one of the things I enjoy so much about this show. As in real life, few people are all-hero or all-villian. The show always manages to explore these kinds of ambiguous moral grey areas so deftly.

Your thoughts?

Late July Whine

Post cribbed from my recent comment on Ask Moxie - sorry it's been one of those craptastic phases and I gotta do a little cut and paste! My DS has been a HOLY TERROR this week. He'll be 4 in exactly 3 months and suddenly he has been acting out in public, being extremely defiant, tantruming, and having urine accidents after being totally potty trained for a year. He is really pushing back even more than usual on any and all discipline. Prior to this, DS had been behaving relatively well for the last few months. But something in him seems to have suddenly changed this week. There has to be some funky developmental phase/regression/disequilibrium shizz going on is all I can come up with. Also my parents are visiting us this week, and they actually got into an argument after dinner about how they should handle their part of DS's discipline (it kind of made me laugh actually - they're well-intentioned but my dad never wants to be the bad guy who ever disciplines a child blah blah...) But the behavioral changes in DS predate my folks' arrival. A few weeks ago he rebelled against anyone speaking any Spanish in our home. MAMA, NO, DON'T SPEAK SPANISH!! He is in the "silent phase" with acquiring Spanish, where he understands what is being said but answers in English.

I dunno. I just think DS is not like most of the other kids his age around here. Never been a carpet square sitter who will do the assigned craft project or sing along with the shitty kids song (he prefers Led Zeppelin and Lady Gaga.) He looks, sounds, and acts so much older. I think of DS as an old soul. If we lived in a bigger city, I'm sure we'd encounter loads more kids like him. People around here who are meeting him for the first time are always amazed that he's only 3 because he is ginormous (has been off the height charts since he was 6 months old, and is the height of an average 5-year-old), and does a lot of physical things that his older friends do but his same-aged peers usually cannot, like riding a bike, going across all of the monkey bars at the park without any help, and sitting in the same place for over an hour completing a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle all by himself.

We're looking forward to starting a preschool that is a better fit for his personality - that would be a Montessori. And the Montessori preschool in Podunkville still hasn't told us which days/times DS will be attending starting in 4 weeks, nor have they sent us any kind of written confirmation that yes, he's in fact enrolled, though they've said so orally and have our (small enough to walk away from) deposit and paperwork. I hate that I actually have to show up there and track down the head teacher in order to have any communication, and that my friend who doesn't work there but whose kids go there is the only one who has actually communicated with us and served as a go-between. DH actually called another Montessori preschool yesterday to get the ball rolling there in case the first one falls through. The new Montessori is actually bilingual Spanish/English, and has a much smaller enrollment, so perhaps this could be a real blessing in disguise, but argh! I hate how the local businesses here are so lazy about returning phone calls! And now I'm scared that DS will keep rebelling against speaking any Spanish.

My 21-month old DD suddenly refuses to fall asleep at night without a fight and a lot of crying. I actually had to consult a couple of the dreaded sleep books. Guess what? They weren't helpful. Except the one that told me she's just in a bad phase and I need to wait. Duh. Maybe her sleep is being thrown off because she's working on mastering some new skills like potty training. (Update: she is day trained for urine, but still prefers to poop anywhere but the potty. My dad bought her the hilarious book "Everyone Poops" by Taro Gomi and she is loving it, so maybe the poop portion will click soon?)

Oh, and my last blood pressure reading was 150/93 = real deal holyfield hypertension. Could this be related to the fact that you, dear readers, haven't gotten a single Friday running update from me in weeks? I think so. I know I'm going to have to use the buddy system on this whole workout idea. I need there to be someone I'm supposed to meet at the gym in order for me to actually want to get off my arse and go there.

Talk to me - anyone out there?

True Blood recap - S4, E5

Well, Gators love marshmallows, y'all. Which means sayonara Joe Lee and evil Mama Mickens! And hasta la vista to Joe Lee's nasty tighty whitey underpants, too! Whew, that felt good.

Oh Andy Bellefleur... I was already afraid enough of police misconduct, then you came along with all your flagrant civil liberties-infringing shenanigans this season. There's no internal affairs division in Bon Temps, I presume. Don't your loved ones know you have some sort of serious addiction going on, beyond the drinking problem of course? With all of those boundaries you keep crossing on Sam Merlotte, one of these days Sam's anger management training won't be sufficient enough to keep him from feeding YOU to the alligators. Speaking of which, Tommy's interpretation of the various Commandments he violated rocked. It was odd though that Sam chose that moment to confess his own murderous past to Tommy - bet that will come back to bite Sam in the ass.

And Portia Bellefleur... trying desperately to make the case that she and Beel could legally keep getting it on was at once sad and funny. But mostly icky. Thank you Beel for being the voice of reason. Beel should have definitely added the suggestion "You find incest revolting" as he glamored away her affections.

Lafayette had a couple of good funnies in this episode - "that dog ate my homework" stuff isn't going to fly with vampires!... and calling Jesus "goat killer." I can't wait to see what kind of crazy shizz Jesus' grandfather the Brujo is going bring to the party.

Loved, loved, loved every scene involving Eric. Scary Godric was an awful bad dream. I hope Beel doesn't get to the Stackhouse home in enough time to cockblock Eric from getting a piece o'Sookie. (Please, please, please let them have the Shower Scene from the books!! Doubtful, I know. I bet they're just going to have time enough to smooch, then Beel and his goons will show up.) But um, Sookie, before Beel takes Eric away, could you please ask him to change out of those horrible gym shorts? We know from last season he looks great naked. M'kay thanks.

Death Becomes Her aka Beekeeper Pam, I think you are actually warming up to King Beel. I actually liked the tough Beel I saw engaging with the 4 remaining sheriffs, including the one (Luis?) who knows the Ancient Witch inhabiting Marnie from back in the day. (And calling Google and Fox News the most powerful human institutions today was absolutely priceless!) Pam, if it were any other royal, or even Eric were you not his child, they might have given you the true death for disobeying a direct order. Beel perhaps thought having a half-rotten face for eternity was punishment enough. BUT... I can't believe Pam 'accidentally' slipped and revealed Eric's hiding place. That didn't quite feel true to the impervious Pam character who is the most ruthless and loyal person Eric knows. I think Pam knows deep down that Beel will not actually kill Eric, and that somehow having Eric in Beel's custody will give her and Eric the best fighting chance. Yes, even though Beel tried to incapacitate Eric last season with cement. Ok, so that doesn't exactly add up in a perfectly logical fashion, but let's put logic aside so they can keep telling such a good story.

My hands down surprise favorite scene though? When clean and sober Lettie Mae Thornton, I mean Mrs. Rev. Daniels, and her holy rollin' new hubby did the song and dance routine complete with a smudging ritual at Terry and Arlene's house to cleanse away "Rene's ghost!" Too funny! "You people"..."I mean people who are religious...." = brilliant! I absolutely love these wonderfully kooky side characters - Lettie Mae and Arlene are 2 of my favorites and it was great to see them in the same scene. I don't think it's Rene. I've said this before, but I think this is a riff on the recurring 'ritual can be dangerous' theme of the show, and that Arlene and Holly invited a demonic entity into the unborn Michael. And clearly this demonic entity has a fondness for playing with matches. Creepy!

Now about Jessica-Hoyt-Jason (cue New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" here). What was Jess smelling on Hoyt's right shoulder? The scent of Jason? The V-induced sex dream where suddenly Hoyt was in Jess' place was too funny. I hope Jason reveals this to Sookie so she can set Jason straight about the romantic side effect of drinking a vamp's blood.

Your thoughts?

True Blood recap - S4, E4

This season is getting soooo gooood!! Oh my goodness, they totally nailed it with this episode. Where do I begin??

So much Eric to lurve! Butt-slapping, nekkid Eric drunk on fairy blood, swimming in broad daylight with the delightful Old Swedish word for "crocodile." How is Sookie ever going to avoid hittin' that? A kiss would have made all of us happy.

And there was a little bit more of Alcide. Amen, Sookie, I wouldn't have wanted to look away as Alcide undressed either. Yum. The Alcide of the books never looked nearly this good in my mind. Readers of the books are probably wondering when Debbie Pelt's born again facade is going to wear down, and the She Wolf is going to come out.

And no more Hot Shot Ghost Daddy freakshow shizz! (I hope, anyway.) I wonder if Jason will fall in love with Jessica after drinking her blood - or if Jess will be tempted by him - that lovely soft focus camera angle of her face over him as she fed him certainly makes me wonder.

The coven storyline is getting really interesting. Marnie's "goddess" is an old witch spirit with a talent for throwing just the right spell book off the shelf at just the right, freaking' scary-ass moment, and was around at the time of the Inquisition, and probably holds some sort of grudge against Eric. But what she did to Pam's face? HOLY SHIT! She turned Pam into the Goldie Hawn character from Death Becomes Her. Not cool. How Pam didn't retaliate and kill every last one of them is beyond me. Seems like this season is all about playing with the various physical limitations of vampires, and giving the humans some power. I'm liking these twists.

The baby and his red marker! Wow. I'm thinking the attempted miscarriage scene with waitress Holly (?) and Arlene and the ritual in the woods last season has invited some troubled spirit into little baby Michael. One of the recurring mini-themes of the show is the power of ritual - I think there will be some Maryanne-level reactions to that ritual regarding this kid.

Now let's talk about the Compton/Bellefleur family. WHY did they have to go there? Portia, in open court, a good lawyer is never supposed to ask a question they don't already know the answer to. Did you REALLY need to follow him outside and ask Beel why he suddenly left your house, as your Grandmama went to bed suddenly not feeling well? Yes, ok, so the viewers needed it spelled out for them. Am I the only one who just felt kind of sad for Beel? It seems like he really relishes the chances to sit around with grand, elderly Bon Temps dames. The scene drew some comparisons in my mind to Beel's courtship of Sookie in Season 1, how he really sounded like an old Southerner when he talked to Sookie's Gran. I guess I'm also kind of shocked that it took him until 2011 and an encounter like this to find out who his progeny are - but hey, they're telling a good story here.

Oh, and I'm SO OVER the whole Mickens family. Ugh.

Your thoughts?

We're Not Gonna Be Super BFF's And All

A new couple our age and with similar-aged kids has just moved to Podunkville. For employment reasons, DH and I were expected to recruit them into moving here, and to help them adjust in the 5 days they've been here permanently. Like us 3 years ago, they've also moved from a big city to Podunkville, and are bound to be weirded out pretty soon after the initial honeymoon phase wears off. In the 19-months we've known them from afar, DH and the guy have gotten along well, and he has a generally favorable impression of the woman.

Up until sometime last night, I used to like her ok. My opinion changed right around the second or third time she announced to the 7 of us out to dinner last night that "[The college-bound teenage sitter we recommended who was watching their kids last night] kept saying how easy our kids are to put to bed. They go to sleep awake! You just put them down, close the door and walk out! The sitter was like 'You mean, I don't need to rock them asleep? OMG, they're SO EASY! Like the easiest kids I've ever watched!'"

Yeah, it must be nice when one's kids are so "easy," um, unlike our kids, who this sitter has been used to watching, and rocking, soothing, and cajoling to sleep in various ways, because our little angels unfortunately march to the beat of their own sleep drummers. I'll spare you the gory details and summarize with 3 words: Low Sleep Needs.

The thing that rubs me the wrong way about this woman is that she has the odd habit of making unsolicited comparisons like that, which never fail to make her kids or her choices look amazing.

One funny one she did on her last visit months ago was about baby names. Our daughters are only days apart in age. The couple's daughter is named Claire. (Perfectly nice, lovely, wonderful name BTW.) Our daughter has a far less-common name that is not the easiest for Americans to pronounce. But it's big in Germany or something. When asked how they chose the name Claire for their baby, she went on and on and on about how they hated each and every girl's name they came across, and Claire was "like, the only girl's name we could even remotely stomach."

Ha, ha ... so we suck, right?

DH tells me I need to keep giving her a chance, she's going to have a hard time fitting in, and will want to spend time with us probably pretty frequently early on when they don't know anyone, and being kind and welcoming (up to a point) is the right thing to do. I remember well how hard months 3 to 9 of living here were, and how lonely it was not to have any young-ish parent friends, which thankfully, we now have in spades.

It sucks though. I already can see how she is... which brings up a recent conversation DH and I had about being honest in friendships. The closer you get, the longer you've known someone, the more data points you have on them - you're in a position to be able to give them some insightful feedback, in theory. But we rarely do. Unsolicited advice sucks. We all have our own fragile egos (i.e. see the above anecdotes about sleep and baby names for the contours of mine).

DH has a dear friend whose first wife left him 5 years ago, very suddenly. Within a few weeks, he was already with a new girlfriend, and talking about moving in with her. He eventually married her about 2 years later, yet all of his friends had many unspoken doubts. All of his friends think wife 2 is a wonderful, gentle-hearted person, but who is just all kinds of wrong for him. Where I am going with this story? Since marrying her, his personality has completely changed. I should also mention that for the last 2 years they've been struggling with infertility - which is making both of them extremely depressed and anxious (they're both getting help). He is honestly not the same kind of person he used to be. DH goes on an annual guys' trip to watch baseball with him and 2 other guys they've known forever - there was talk of canceling because the friend has been such bad company lately, and wants to bring his wife along to their dinners, oh and needs to attend the wake of his ex-coworker's father one of the nights of the trip, etc etc

So I said to DH, who is thinking of not going, "Hey, what if you were just honest with him about the changes you've seen in him, and try to find out how he's really doing?"

DH says he can't do that - "we can't change people." Right, although (in theory) we can provide them with honest feedback in a caring way, and let them know how their behavior makes us feel - then it's their choice to do with that information whatever they deem appropriate.

DH's conclusion: Nope. People need to figure it out for themselves in their own time, while their friends try desperately not to rock the proverbial boat with too much honesty.

Yeah, I can see that.

True Blood recap - S4, E3

Spoilers...

I fina-effin-ly got to watch Episode 3, and can I just point out how sad it is that I was feeling irate, and even dare I say a tad depressed, because my usual Sunday evening routine of watching TB after the kids go to bed was completely disrupted by the fact that my kids didn't want to go to bed until friggin' 10:30pm! Because that's when it finally has been dark enough to actually persuade my kiddos that it is, in fact, bedtime. Then I kept getting cockblocked by various life events every other night of this week, and I eventually watched it 5 days late, grrr... Full disclosure: because I was so desperate to see the show, I actually climbed into my 21-month-old's crib last night so she'd fall asleep - and she did! And did I mention I am tall and kind of weigh a lot, but have one sturdy ass crib (IKEA Gulliver from circa 2007), and she fell asleep in 3 minutes and I got what I wanted? Perhaps unlike saving one's virginity until marriage it was all worth the struggle and the wait.

There is a lot of fucked up shit going down in Bon Temps. Beel and Portia doing the nasty (if you've read all the books, you know *exactly* what I mean). Jessica glamoring the memory of their fight out of Hoyt's pea pickin' brain right after he told her not to. Eric's hair suddenly resembling a blonde version of the Jim Carrey character's mane from the movie Dumb and Dumber. (For the record, Eric can still have me though.) That grimy, scary, Twilight Zone-looking doll that keeps showing up! Maxine Fortenberry ordering more of them on the home shopping network while the man she makes call her "mama" schemes of defrauding her. Hands down, the most effed up thing of all can be summarized with two words, and they are--

Ghost Daddy.

Holy effin' shizz - that lineup of hillbilly werepanther chicks just waiting for their turns? Hell to the NOOOOO!!!! Poor Jason, talk about no good deed ever going unpunished.

My favorite moments were every single second that either Eric and/or Pam were onscreen, including the way Claudine got snatched and eaten out of nowhere, and the hilarious look on Eric's face when he was done... the feet washing (nice biblical imagery)... Pam not even bothering to hang up nor say anything to her man-meal when Sookie telephoned about Eric being in trouble... Eric calling her "Snooki" and rambling on in Old Swedish... the masculine decor of Eric's cubby that screamed James Bond's love shack on a submarine in the middle of the Arctic to me...

The dynamic within the coven debating what they're going to do about their Eric problem is getting interesting for me - as Marnie said "he had no right" indeed, but it is a testament to the quality of the screenwriting that we can totally understand and even perhaps agree with both sides of the conflict. Yet another nice allegory for balancing the rights of the people in power with those of a minority group, A-Ball.

What I really want to know is the backstory on the old spirit inhabiting Marnie (Hallow from the books?) who Eric recognized from a long time ago. Also, I'm not so convinced that Beel set Eric up in the premeditated way that Pam assumes.

Your thoughts, fans of the fang?

Been Stewing

Here I am, days later, and still stewing about M's lying crap. You're probably sick of hearing about it. DH officially got sick of it at about 4 o'clock yesterday. But it's still on my mind, and here I type.

Part of my residual stewiness is because I found out later that M actually pulled C and B aside in Seattle late Friday night to ask them if I was mad at her. (Yes, welcome back to 8th grade, folks. I brought my Aqua Net.)

Which made shy, retiring B wonder if I was also mad at her, too. Thankfully, C told M that if M perceived that I was mad at her then she should talk about it with me directly, and reassured B that I probably wasn't mad at her, but again the person to talk to about it would be me. Instead of talking about it with me, M apologized to me first thing on Saturday am - if her "chaotic life and sudden change of plans had in any way bothered me." I note that M also chose to apologize to me in front of C, instead of alone. I accepted her apology but chose not to drill down on exactly what M thought she was apologizing for. It was awkward having C right there, and B in the bathroom - like M planned it that way so I would go easy on her. And at that point I hadn't decided if I wanted to confront M about the lying.

The whole "is hush mad at me?" gossip to C and in front of B but then not actually talking about it with me, just apologizing in a general, public way - that is yet another something about M's character that I can't abide. Makes me think M is just basically unable to even admit to herself that she lied - over $75.

I know I just need to accept M for wherever she is on her journey, and Have Better Boundaries. It sucks that she is in her mid-40s and hasn't figured this shit out yet. As in, um, friends don't like to be lied to? Um, nobody likes a well-off cheapskate? Um, when you gossip about someone else in front of 3 other women it makes people think you can't be trusted?

Deep down I'm just pissed at myself for ever having stupidly believed M was an honest, loyal friend instead of first looking for like Actual Evidence of those traits in her. The perceived limited number of available friends in Podunkville makes me spend more time on people who initially seem like good possibilities. Then I tend to over-embellish people's good traits - I reeeeally want them to be friend material. Been there, done that with my now-ex-Podunkville-friend J, too.

When will I ever learn?

I'm still tossing around C's idea of confronting M in private and letting her know how her behavior affected me. Easy advice to give, effing hard advice to actually take. I feel like that's the so-called "right" thing to do. But even C admitted there were times in her life and friendships when she should have taken her own advice but did not - there are just some people you can't reach; they're in too much denial.

I dunno... I'm just really hung up on having good, local friends. Perhaps I need to just stop trying so hard. Let other people make the plans. Accept people for who they really are, not who I wish they'd be.

True Blood recap - S4, E2

It's starting to get gooooood! And by that I of course mean we saw even more Eric!! I was initially bummed that Episode 2 did not pick up in Sookie's room, right where Episode 1 left off, but they got back to the Stackhouse residence soon enough. Loved the scene in the kitchen, "there are 2 Sookie Stackhouses...." and Eric's offer to make home improvements. And Eric has built himself a cubby (or "hidey hole" as the books call it) at Sookie's... almost as though Eric is anticipating spending some time there very soon (fake amnesia?... cough, cough.)

SPOILERS... duh, again.

The scene with the ritual in the coven! Oh my! That was scary and good. Tara's presence there seemed a bit of a non sequitur though - they really wanted to show her getting roughed up by a vamp against her will yet again... wonder where that will take us? Tara, Vampire Slayer? All that cage fighting in New Orleans might be the prep work. Lafayette apparently does have the magic in him - I heart him so very much. After searching a bit online, it seems the gist of what Marnie chanted in Latin to Eric was "Saves Question Omni Strepeto" or "I strip from you all that you know." Yikes. She also seemed to have stripped off half of his clothes. No complaints here.

Just a thought - perhaps unlike in the books, Eric is actually faking this bout of witch-induced amnesia?? I dunno, I just cannot see Eric being out-strategized by Beel and Nan Flanagan long term. Something tells me Eric is biding his time, and may be faking all of this to secure his place in Sookie's life, among other things.

DH made an interesting observation - slowly but surely, very few of the characters on the show are merely human anymore. In addition to all of the fairies, supposed demons, vamps, shifters, and weres, now Lafayette is a witch; Tara is still being trailed by demons/evil fae (what was up with that quick, freaky impression of evil Queen Mab Sookie saw hovering around Tara for a moment when Tara showed up at Sookie's house?); Rene and Arlene's baby Michael probably has "666" etched somewhere on his little head (I loved the scene where Arlene's eye goes wack - nice mix of funny and creepy); Jason's about to go panther (and can I just say again how much I'm hating the Hot Shot storyline)... It is starting to look a lot like Hoyt, his mama, and the Bellefleurs are the last untouched humans. Hmm....

Pam, as usual, has all the best lines. String pulling - LOL! Eric can pull my string anydamntime.

Beel, it was fun seeing you in 1982 London with That Hair. It broke my heart just a tiny little bit to watch you banging your redheaded coven spy in the bed that you and Sookie once called your own, but I get it: you were just effin' some other lady so you could protect the true identity of the woman you really love from evil Nan Flanagan! Riiiight.

Upon Hearing An Odd, Obvious Lie

I'm off to a 4th of July weekend getaway in Seattle with 3 local girlfriends, C, B, and M. This trip has been on the books for quite awhile - I made our hotel and dinner reservations back in mid-May, with the help of DH who, by the way, is awesome.

Then, yesterday, Other Peoples' Drama suddenly struck. (And I am NOT down with "O.P.D." However, "O.P.P." may be something I can get down with on rare occasions.)

If you've been reading me awhile, M is the wife in this shitty relationship.

I saw M on Monday night, and she said she was really looking forward to this weekend, and that she could leave early on Friday morning because her DH would be taking the day off to watch their 4 daughters. But yesterday, she suddenly informs us she can't leave until 2:30pm - DH screwed her over by not taking the day off after all.

Then B texts me to say she had just finally started looking for childcare on Thursday for all day Friday, and has (not-shockingly) been unsuccessful, and oh gosh oh gee, she didn't know her DH was working that afternoon, so now she couldn't leave until like 5:30pm. To be fair, she just moved into a new house 2 weeks ago, has 3 kids, 2 still in diapers, and is a generally disorganized person who waits until the last minute and hates calling people on the phone... whatever.

However. WTF?? We'd been planning this trip for HOW LONG?? Can't you find sitters in advance, and pin down your effin' husbands to handle their own friggin' children once in a blue moon?!

We make time for the things that are important to us. We may SAY something matters, but it's what we DO that tells you what we really prioritize. And clearly, this trip did not make the top of everyone's list.

But that's not what I'm bitching about.

Yesterday morning (the day before the trip) C calls me and says that B and M just told her they are going to take the Saturday morning train to Seattle instead of driving on Friday after their husbands get home, because M's DH thinks there are a lot of deer on the highways, and is worried about M driving the small car and hitting a deer, and they need the bigger car to remain at home to haul around their passel of children, but even though there are a ton of deer such that B and M can't drive M's car on Friday they nevertheless want to ride home in C's car on Sunday which is ridiculously inconsistent, blah, blah, bullshit, bullshit, etc.... C is concerned because M never mentioned what she planned to do about our shared hotel room on Friday, and C is on tight budget, whereas M is well-off. I told C I would ask them directly and clarify the sharing hotel expenses for Friday that we had agreed to via email weeks before.

M calls me back to let me know that M and B are coming to Seattle on Saturday, "my DH just didn't communicate with me" and after a minute more of explaining herself, she starts to let me go, "ok, bye." ... Then I say "Hold on, M. What about our hotel reservation for Friday night? There is no way I can cancel or change it on less than 24 hours notice. So what do you and B plan to do about that - it's approximately $75 per person for each of the 2 nights we're booked?"

"What hotel reservation?"

"At Hotel, where we are staying." (Silence.) "M, did you think we were all going to sleep out on the streets of Seattle tomorrow night? Where do you think we're all planning to stay?"

"You never told me anything about that."

"M, I sent everyone an email with the booking confirmation on 5/17. I'm re-sending that email to you now."

"I can't remember the name of the hotel... I never got any email. I don't know what you're talking about."

"M, you need to call B and figure this out right now. You and B are going to have to be responsible for your portion of the hotel bill for Friday night whether or not you show up until Saturday. Let me know when we can expect you." (End call).

A few minutes later, M replies to my re-sent email (the email chain soooo clearly showing M saying 'Yes, definitely book that hotel.') "hush, I did get that original email but I couldn't open the attachment to see the booking - I just opened it now on my phone. Looks like B and I are just going to take the train on Friday, so no worries! See you then -M."

I was livid. M lied so shamelessly and so effin' ODDLY. On something that an email record so OBVIOUSLY proves she's lying!

Why?

DH and C think M's odd lie to me over the phone was the startled reaction of a person in a bad relationship, who was surprised by the sudden (but foreseeable) realization that she'd be on the hook for the hotel bill for Friday, even though she couldn't enjoy it, and she was so upset with her DH that she let greed/selfishness/misplaced anger get the best of her, and in the moment delivered an unpremeditated lie, and one that was painfully obvious because she'd had no time to think it through, and she was reacting from a place of pain and you should really feel bad for her because deep down she knows what she did was wrong....

C and DH were kind enough to let me vent yesterday, so I'm largely over it and can enjoy the weekend no matter what weirdness M brings to the party. Whether or not M actually acknowledges her lie and how wrong that was to do to a friend, I've pretty much written her off and have silently demoted M from friend to acquaintance. Her loss, I think.

I just can't stomach lying liars who lie... and over stupid shizz.