True Blood S5:E12 recap- Season Finale

Season 5 is officially dunzo. And what a wacky, polarizing season it was. The unevenness and odd plot lines caused some once-devoted fans I know to finally quit the show in frustrated exasperation. Hell, I almost stopped watching. Glad I hung in there though, and I'm glad y'all did, too. It's been fun blogging about it, and I'm very grateful to the 3 or 4 of you who have been kind enough to consistently share your thoughts in my comments section. Gracias!

Closing thoughts on the Season 5 Finale... An unforgettable cliffhanger.... Yes, let's talk about the last scene first. Because, wow.

Wow. Beel out-vampired Salome. She didn't smell the silver. You've got to hand it to her for going out with such class: "Lilith chose wisely." As she was retching up blood, inside I was thinking, "Not on that gorgeous rug, Salome!"

Then Eric and Sookie arrive. Is Eric really that loyal to Beel or does he need to see it through in order to make sure Sookie understands he's actually the better vampire for her? Probably a bit of both. It looked like Beel had met the true death, and frankly, I kind of wanted him to after he called Sookie an "abomination," and pulled a shitty "I told you so" by reminding her of what he said when they first met about vampires hurting the ones they love most. Goodbye, Beel! Then something came up out of the puddle of blood... I suspected it would happen but it still shocked me...

BEEL-ITH!!

Now that was some exquisitely scary schizz. Eric looked positively terrified, which we never see. Yikes!! (I'm hooked! When does Season 6 begin again?)

Alcide finally came around, upon hearing Rikki's testimony about what's being perpetrated on even the very young girls in the pack. Alcide used his Dad's extra special stash of V to become the new packmaster. Wonder who the hell's blood that was?? Apparently, some vampire even older than Russell Edgington. Warlow? Hmm... I detect a future plot line there, pitting Warlow/Weres against Sookie, and Alcide conflicted over which side to take. "Pack first" - there's a slogan I can get behind, but I have a feeling it will be much easier said than done for the Herveaux family. Great scene with Alcide and his dad talking about words vs. deeds.

The Tara/Pam storyline finally arrived at a healthy place for their relationship. Tara wasn't going to even wait one more second for Sookie to open those silver prison bars. And Jessica knew it. ;)

The award for the most camp-tastic scenes of the whole season goes to... Fairy Mirella giving orgasmic, salt-induced birth to quadruplets on the pool table at Merlotte's while Lala, Arlene, and barfly Jane Bodehouse look on, with poor Holly acting as midwife. I love that Mirella left the babies with Andy the "dick," and waltzed the eff out.

Jason bonked his head and now he sees dead people - his late parents, who understandably hate vampires and want him to hate them, too. In theory, his newfound abilities should bring him closer in empathy to Sookie. I've enjoyed their sibling relationship this season.

Luna skin walking as Steve Newlin on national TV = awesome. Hands down, the best killing of a vampire ever had to be the way Sam offed Chancellor Roslyn. I could not help but think of There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. And we all know what happened to that lady.

And now the first scene last: Eric staked Russell Edgington while he was distracted by the scent of the fae. Felt good. I was sad to see Russell go, before the opening credits even rolled. Damn.

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E11 recap

Anybody out there? Bueller? You guys still watching True Blood? One episode left, and it looks like the war(s) is/are about to begin.

I'll keep this brief.

I loved the scene with the shit-talking General who 'owns the day' and 'has weapons,' and I loved that Eric killed him for being "a dick." And, of course, to provide an escape route so Eric and Nora could fly off into the night. I guess the tape of Russell and Steve killing all those frat boys has gone viral. Thanks, TB, for an enjoyable sex scene, even though it was brother/sister, it was still long overdue.

Pam's been arrested and taken to Authority HQ for the death of Sheriff Marilyn Manson. She protected Tara from Chancellor Roslyn's wrath - I think that was extremely significant. How's she going to get out of that one now that Eric has left the building?

Alcide and his Dad, the Trailer Park Vampire Slayers - "when we die we turn to goo!" - I personally loved that whole scene, very camp-tastic. Alcide could have left his shirt off. Just a thought.

Andy is Fairy Mirella's babydaddy. Weren't Holly and Arlene were just talking about their men and "loyalty"? Spoke too soon.

The quirky Fairy Elder who lived a very long life right up until she met Sookie, and who dances and references Ke$ha, Boyz II Men, and John Cougar Mellencamp - ugh, I was not a fan. Something was off about the writing of her character, and I just could not suspend my disbelief. I kept thinking "why did the actor and director make the choice to portray her in this odd, unbelievable way?!" Come to think of it, I don't especially love the way any of the fae have looked or acted this season. As I've said before, Claude is not good looking enough. Bah.

Russell Edgington seems pretty unstoppable. The fae appear to be totally defenseless against him now that he can see right through the portal into Fairyland. Maybe Warlow is going to step in when Russell tries to eat Sookie. That, or Eric will fly in.

Beel hitting Jessica during their disagreement was extremely sad and uncomfortable -- religious zealotry and misogyny seem to go hand-in-hand. Jessica being ordered to turn Jason while the vampire guards monitor her, yikes. Beel is not that dumb... of course, Beel could have added an "as your maker, I command you" clause that would have made Jessica actually go through with turning Jason, but he didn't.

Lilith appearing to every Chancellor (except Roslyn?) telling them they're the Chosen One and that they must drink all of her... is that so she can possess one of them and come back into corporeal form? Maybe she is "real" afterall. The bloody handprints on the glass certainly suggest so.

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E9 & E10 recap

Hello, my long lost fans of the fang! I wanted to post this recap sooner but my beloved TV-watching and blogging had to take a temporary backseat to work and parenting. You know what I mean. So without further ado...

It's so hard to believe there are only two episodes left of Season 5, which also means summer is almost over. Already we've seen a lot of Big Endings of the kind that TB used to reserve for its Actual Season Finales--

Jesus is gone but not forgotten. Lafayette has his mojo back, just like in the earlier seasons - love him. Jessica and Jason said their sad goodbyes to Alaska-bound Hoyt, who now seems to have everything he's ever wanted (and I got very teary-eyed. Literally, I cried. Well done by all three actors.) Terry and Arlene gave blood for blood and got rid of both the Ifrit curse and that pesky corpse in one fell swoop. Ghost Godric is really gone (another very sad scene, though Eric looked too hot crying - no complaints here). Sheriff Dearborn, The Dragon, and her ilk have been brought to justice. Alcide is again a lone wolf, just like his washed-up dad, aka the Cop Terminator from T2. As with killer Rene at the end of Season 1, Sookie has survived another murder attempt by a local guy she's known for years (Mike the Creepy Coroner/new vamp who got staked with chopsticks instead of simply revoking his invitation to her home - nice!). Who turned him, anyway?

There are still quite a few plotlines to tie up and only 2 episodes left to do it.

Tara and Ginger have killed the new Sheriff in town. Before he met the true death, Marilyn Manson called and asked for his look back. Lol. Ginger is an expert screamer. As I've said before, Ginger deserves a raise. The Pam/Tara dynamic is still the source of uncomfortable racial imagery, anyone else catch the Gone With The Wind - Prissy shout-out: "I don't know nothin' about birthin' no vampire babies." It was 100% intentional. Even the name of the episode is "Gone, Gone, Gone." (P.S. Pam rocked that white studded jacket.)

Beel: is he or isn't he a True Believer? I think he's an almost-there believer, or at least a wannabe convert - as I've said before, Beel's probably got a long term strategy going - like any successful vampire must, he has decided to lose some battles in the hope he'll eventually win the war. It will involve saving Sookie, but Eric will come out looking like the better, less-self-interested romantic partner for Sookie. Salome definitely has Beel under her thumb. Does she remind anyone else of another hot, brunette, elder vamp from Beel's past? Lorena, correct! I predict Beel will likewise eventually have a hand in killing off Salome.

When Beel was watching the video of Eric and Nora having the vision of Godric getting killed by Lilith it was as if he was somehow searching for some shred of concrete proof that Lilith is actually real. Like he's internally grappling with his own beliefs while externally saying what he must. The look exchanged between Eric and Beel when Russell mentioned his dream of daywalking with fairy blood said an awful lot. Then again, after Beel dragged Jessica to Authority HQ, handed her the Vampire Bible and gave her a mini-lecture on religion (and at the same time probably giving her a bit of religious homeschooling PTSD), I thought ok, so will Jessica be the one to finally slap some sense into her dear old dad? I have thoroughly admired Jessica this season - no doubt she will push back unless forced to drink the wacky Lilith V.

Russell was great to watch as usual, too. His clever exchange with Eric - Eric kissing Russell's ring and finally giving Russell the forgiveness he had asked for a few episodes back in Salome's chamber, wow. Clearly, they're both faking the religious fervor, and they both know it. Then Russell comes right out and admits it. Russell has had enough of these silly religious zealots: he's all "I'm 3,000 years old, I like to eat people, and when I'm super pissed my ancient Teutonic accent comes back!! Grrr!!!!"

Russell and Steve Newlin slow dancing in the frat house amongst the corpses of all the frat bothers they've just eaten was a great mix of scary/campy/funny. Steve Newlin's kidnapping of Emma and making her stay in wolf form - treating a child like a dog both literally and figuratively - holy hell, I'm really having trouble with it. Seeing a child being mistreated even in fictional form is just way too uncomfortable for me. Sam and Luna shifting into little white mice to keep tabs on Emma, how horrifying for any parent to watch. I think this will all come to a head in the next two episodes. They'll call in Alcide, Martha and the small handful of anti-V weres, and I bet somehow Steve Newlin meets the true death and Russell gets even crazier (if that's even possible) over the loss of yet another paramour. But I hope they don't actually kill Russell.

I found myself surprisingly enjoying the plotline about the Old Stackhouse Family Contract with Vampire Warlow found hidden under the floorboard of the bed. Good call, Officer Jason, you do have half a brain in there - and it reminded me of Lafayette's funny prior admonishments to the ghosts about getting too cute with their clues. It looks like an ancient scroll with hieroglyphics, so they first take it to the local university to have a professor examine it? Really? Did they really think he'd be able to read fairy? If this were the books, that professor would turn into a Bad Guy in the next season. Taking it to Claude should have been their first logical step, but oh well. Mirella finally translated it with her mad fairy handwaving skills - and BTW, she's pregnant with Andy Bellefleur's baby, right, right??

As their first female family fairy (I love alliteration), Sookie has been promised by her ancestor to Warlow. As a food source or as a wife? Wait, isn't this all cribbed from the Paranormal Activity movies? So that means, Sookie Is In Danger... All Over Again!! Naturally. Will getting rid of all her fae-ness make her less enticing to Warlow? Hmm...

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E8 recap

Did anyone else notice how many people were held against their will in a wide variety of circumstances in this episode?

Lafayette was just released from captivity (thank gawd for the V in the first aid kit!!), then there's the anti-shifter redneck Sam brought to justice, Jessica, probably Hoyt is now being held (@Haley, I bet you're right and ex-Sheriff Dearborn is the one in the truck on the other end of that gun), the Mean Girl at Fangtasia from Tara's old high school, the unfortunate mother of a 4-month-old baby, and the young male track star... yep, pretty much everyone and their mom was someone's hostage this time around.

Alcide's love scene = thank you. We needed that. More please!

Of course the V-supplier for the pack is none other than Russell Edgington - he's been doing that throughout history. Now I'm sure he's just playing along with the I Love Lilith crowd. I think Beel is, too. Will Eric silently slip out of The Authority HQ now, or does he still think Nora can be saved?

Lots of quality Beel-ness went down in this ep, which I enjoyed. It had been awhile. Did anyone else catch that Stephen Moyer directed this episode? The Beel flashback to his daughter Sarah's deathbed in 1910 was an interesting scene, reminding us that Beel is this show's Tragic Hero. Presumably, he refused to turn Sarah, and she died a miserable death. In fact, I'm positive he didn't make her immortal because the now-dead Magister from seasons past who ordered Beel to turn Jessica (as punishment for staking Longshadow in order to save Sookie) said Beel had never been a maker before. Interesting how the old parental guilt he probably feels at having made that choice ultimately led him to behave so appallingly towards the human Salome offered him to feed on, but then again, how could Beel have ever saved the woman from the clutches of a much older vampire? Well, couldn't he have at least glamoured her? Reminds me of how Beel once left human Tara high and dry at Russell Edgington's house.

Luna skinwalking as Sam - now that was unexpected! I laughed at the mustache ride sweatshirt she stole from another patient. What are the skinwalking rules again? A shifter becomes a skin walker when they kill their own mother, but if they do it too much they get violently ill, puke a lot, and possibly they die? Where are they going with this? Sam Trammel's acting was spot-on, his body carriage really made it look halfway believable.

Good for Lafayette for finally charging for his medium services! Patrick or Terry must die at the other's hands. Sounds like just desserts. (Please let it be Patrick.) The bit with the flaming candles on the table was classic horror-movie fun. The show is really facile about mixing the supernatural with social commentary about mental illnesses - Terry's PTSD, Lafayette's mama's schizophrenia, etc.

Sookie and Jason discover the vampire who killed their parents is named Warlow (sp?), and is Sookie's new psychic friend. He gets my vote for Lead Villian of next season.

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E7 recap

Was someone just saying this season hasn't been scary enough?

Well, "It's already been broughten!!"

Top Scary Moments in this Episode

A tie between -

1) The New Orleans bar massacre, in particular watching the little kid being assaulted by the vampire with the deformed face, and

2) Lafayette's poor lips. Holy fucking shit!

But, like I always say, one of the show's best features is it's ability to mix the scary with the outrageously funny. Such as Russell Edgington's unexpected duet to "You Light Up My Life." (He gets me every time.) Plus I enjoyed the funny/scary drunken vampire frolic through the French Quarter, with Beel on Eric's back, and The New Nan Flanagan getting all buddy buddy with Russell.

Vampires forgive and forget like no others. If you think about it, several vampires were sworn enemies just last episode and in seasons past, (Russell vs. Everyone, Steve Newlin vs. Everyone, Beel vs. Eric, The Authority vs. Beel & Eric, Pam vs. Tara etc) but now the wacky Lilith V has brought most of them all together... to do what?

As the weres are saying "the end of days is coming." Was he really about to give little Emma some V? Holy hell. Martha protected Emma like I thought she would. Alcide in the barn - they make a damn good looking couple. She'll probably die in the fight though.

Ghostly Godric always shows up at the right time, doesn't he? Eric, take care of your sister. He will. Lilith was just a mass hallucination?

The new vampire-human hate group clique Lilith's blood has created pairs nicely with the new human-supernatural hate group clique Hoyt has joined. Oh Hoyt. Seriously? I know there's a thin line between love and hate and all, but you really want to murder Jessica? Hate groups are about folks who are missing love and acceptance, nice touch A-Ball.

Sookie and Jason could not figure out the meaning of the word "luminescence." Why do all fairies sound like middle class Brits? As Sookie tries to get rid of all her fairy light she could probably zap more than a few mosquitoes while she's at it. In the meantime, she needs to stop believing Beel and Eric whenever they in any way indicate they've taken care of Russell.

Speaking of Russell, I find it hard to believe he is so religiously convertible and malleable. Someone of his gravitas, wit, and cynicism? It seems like he should be just playing along, probably seeing what will come of it. That, or maybe Salome really is that persuasive as to the existence of Lilith.

Sam the crime fighting dog - I like it. Kenya's reaction to him sniffing the gun store floor was priceless.

Sad Arlene watching her wedding video - aww. I half expected a smoke monster to show up on tape. Terry and Arlene really had a good thing going. She'll keep holding on.

Lettie Mae Thornton "I'm a minister's wife now" riiiight.... visits Fangtasia and sees Tara working the pole while her master/new mother figure watches (nicely crimped hair, Pam, I bet that took hours.) Ugh, what a painful scene. Pam can't quite hide how she is starting to care for Tara. "A hundred years from now you won't remember her" sure sounds nice, but then again in Eric's case, still avenging his dead Viking family, and even in Beel's case, breaking things off with his descendent Portia, well, it is not exactly true.

Lafayette goes to Mexico to confront Jesus's loco brujo uncle. Gah. Most painful, gut-wrenching scene ever on the show? Yes. Yes it was.

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E6 recap

Fantastic episode! Truly, this was one of the best in a long while. It covered a lot of territory but seemed like it was only about 15 minutes long. And to think only a few short episodes ago I was sipping the haterade on this season. Well, I stand corrected!

Let me begin by saying how much I thoroughly enjoy Denis O'Hare in the role of Russell Edgington, and I'm so glad he's back in the saddle again. He totally owns that role, and it works. Talk about cheering for the villain. I hope Russell sticks around beyond this season: "Fuck The Authority!"

The scenes in the haunted asylum of doom were just awesome. Beel fake glamouring Sookie - "you belong in the sun." They have such natural chemistry (and in real life they are apparently expecting twins in October.)

Cheeky, tricky, delicious, conniving Eric is back!! Glamoring away Alcide's romantic interest in Sookie while at the same time commanding Alcide to defend her with his life - well played, Mr. Northman. I have a feeling you'll be doing the ol' mattress mambo with Sookie again in no time. Let's pray it actually looks sexy next time though. It was funny how Sookie figured out what Eric had done to Alcide - "you recoiled from me??" Loved it!

What was up with the bus massacre of the human witnesses? Is *every* chancellor of the Authority scheming behind Roman's back?? I think Salome is going to be the next Grand Pooh Bah of the Authority, and she's just biding her time until she gets rid of Roman. Nora is a true believer? Seems like Eric now thinks so.

Back at Authority HQ, when Eric tried to warn them that Russell is the strongest vampire he's ever known and they'd all better watch out - once he said that I knew Russell would be busting out of there, but I was totally surprised by how fast it happened. When Russell's insta-staker failed and he turned the tables on Roman then apparently staked him in return, Roman did not immediately turn to red goo - his face got all weird and veiny and puffy. So has Roman really met the true death? Makes me wonder if Roman has some sort of vampire equivalent of a bulletproof vest going on under his golf shirt. I suppose we'll find out first thing next episode.

Moving on to the show's other vamps - I'm loving Jessica this season. It's such an interesting contrast - Jessica's humanistic values and "upbringing" from genteel Beel compared to the tough love, alpha-tastic way Tara is being "raised" by ruthless, fabulous Pam. Why can't everyone just get along? ;)

Lafayette's visit to his mama - who also sees dead people, naturally - was fun to watch. "Jesus loves the little faggots!" Ah, the priceless writing on this show.

Arlene is one of my other bizarre favorites, and when Cursed Terry finally broke it all down for her and came clean about the things he did in Iraq when he was most certainly not "just following orders" - I loved her response about getting back on his meds. Arlene has moxie, and she has to be responsible for 3 little people - and what a sad goodbye. I know not everyone is a fan of The Ifrit/smoke monster storyline - but I'm also seeing it as a mini nod to actress Carrie Preston's real life - her husband is Michael Emerson who played Ben Linus on "Lost," home of the original smoke monster that held people accountable for their sins. Hmm...

Sookie and Jason visit fairyland/Moulin Rouge - readers of the books will be more than a bit suspicious of the motives behind certain "fairy tales" - namely, the convenient story about the vampire who killed the Stackhouses because he smelled Sookie's blood on an old band-aid in the backseat of their car. Is that even true? Will they try to pin it on Beel? Eric? Russell? We know from prior seasons (old newspaper clippings found in Beel's home) that Beel might have been following Sookie since her childhood. We know the fae hate the vamps and would like to turn everyone against them. For me, this is all leading up to a Supernatural Brawl of Epic Proportions.

Which brings us to the shifters - Luna's alive! I'm pleasantly surprised. I'm enjoying Martha the Were Grandmama, she plays it so cool. Despite the fact that she raised an evil psychopath of a son, no doubt her house is the safest place for Emma. Isn't that how real life parenting decisions go down, too?

So it's some rednecks from Bon Temps, who know Hoyt, who are killing the shifters and some random vamps. Why do I think somehow the fae are behind this?

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E5 recap

This season has finally hit its stride - I'm totally into it now. (Though DH has actually stopped watching.)

"Boot and Rally" was this episode's name - aw, Sookie, I feel like you have your mojo back. It's so refreshing to see you in a decidedly non-damsel in distress role for a change! She kicked some serious ass at the haunted sanitorium of doom. Her speech before they all went into the abandoned hospital -- where clearly nothing good can ever happen -- reminded me of the best parts of the Scream movies, with the funny/pithy horror movie rules. Nice touch. Anyone else notice the admiring way Eric was gazing at Sookie when she went in first and told everyone to go for it? Eric has a thing for bravery in human women (Madam Pam's desirability comes to mind.)

The whole trip through the haunted sanitorium of doom was a great mix of the camp and the scary that TB usually does so well. Was anyone else concerned that they didn't immediately get those poor people down from the hooks?

I predicted Sookie was not going to actually do the deed with Alcide (at least not this time), and I also feel the need to point out that Alcide did not do the whole "narrate what Sookie's home is smelling like" thing after she vomited on his shoes. The other odd thing I found myself was thinking was, if she did happen to have sex with Alcide, would she have the proper birth control given she's never really needed it before?

The other highlight of this ep was the initial exchange between Tara and Jessica over the bar at Fangtasia. That was like the vampire version of the "It Gets Better" videos. Go Jessica. Then things all went to pot. I could not believe Tara fed on Hoyt, after telling him to go home to his mama. And that she did it right in the bathroom stall next to her only real vampire friend? And then they fought over it. WTF?

I think Luna is dead. I think Sam will live. Who is trying to kill all the shifters? Next season's villian(s), that's who!

So was it Nora or Salome who dug up Russell Edgington?

How will Lafayette exorcise the blue brujo who tried to kill Sookie? He didn't need to say that when he ran into his living room. I loved the scene with Lafayette's mom and Jesus's talking head, and the little talking religious icons Lafayette smashed into his carpet. Yikes.

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E4 recap

Who knew that fairies like to party like Cirque du Soleil and "Moulin Rouge" just got together and had a baby?

"Jason, the vampires killed your parents!" ... "Be quiet, Hadley!" ... BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!

I bet whichever vampire Sookie "finally" ends up with will turn out to be the one who offed her mom and dad, in yet another shocking act of betrayal. Beel or Eric?

Did anyone else think the peeping tom scene with Beel and Eric watching through Sookie's window was kind of hot? I bet they'll interrupt before Alcide can close. Which is a shame, because I thoroughly enjoyed watching the two of them make out on her couch -- thanks, of course, to Sookie's fruit-flavored liquid confidence. One minor criticism though. Must Alcide constantly announce what he's smelling in Sookie's home, at each and every opportunity? Hey Sookie, your kitchen smells like ammonia on top of bleach! Hey Sookie, you smell like mint and peaches! We get it - he's a canine and yes, they're blessed with an extraordinary sense of smell.

I should have been more disturbed by Alcide's caring but major lie to the Pelts, but I understood his reasoning and can see the rough justice of it. Although, come on - even when the body is found, there's simply no way Sookie would ever go to jail. A white woman in the South shooting an armed intruder in her own home? Please.

Vampire Tara is finally growing on me because at long last she is starting to act like her old whip smart self again, instead of a zombie fucktard. Loved the feeding scene with Pam and the blood donor. I also loved the scene where Eric released Pam. She's a maker now. I was so sure Pam wasn't going to rescue Tara from the tanning bed - I guess that maker/progeny connection is strong.

Who killed Sam's attractive shifter friends?

There are traitors in The Authority, and Roman will take them out with his super biblical stake! Gross.

Um, Lafayette's blue brujo alter ego tried to kill Sookie by messing up the brakes in her drivable lemon. Not much seems to be made of it.

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E3 recap

I stand corrected. This season doesn't suck quite as much as I had previously thought.

{SPOILERS, duh}.

Fairies!!

The good smelling man with 16 sisters was totally Claude. How do I know? I've read all the books. The end credits told me so. One problem though: he's not nearly good looking enough to be Claude (of the books anyway). Is there really a shortage of male models who want to act? Come on, people!

Are these fairies going to come back for Andy Bellefleur? Remember the pretty brunette fairy he had sex with in the woods a while back? I think Holly's Halloween costume fairy wings that we're still seeing in this season are a bit of foreshadowing. Hmm...

We've learned Jason has a hole in his soul that only sex can fill... because his high school teacher banged him, and after a quickie reunion with her he has just found out he does not like it, and it was wrong. I mean, clearly, Jason's got some fae blood attraction thing going on that makes everyone want to drop trou around him.

Jessica is a cool chick. Way to have Jason's back with that saleslady in the dressing room, and to set aside her raging vamp libido to be a real friend.

Loved the story of Pam's making. It makes her insecurities about Eric much more understandable, given she basically forced him into this eternal relationship and didn't wait to see if he were truly willing. Kind of like the vampire equivalent of a fake pregnancy in the 1950s.

I enjoyed Lorena's cameo, with Out-of-control Young Vampire Beel. Dead, mutilated prostitutes explained. How did I not see that coming? And Human Pam even asked to be paid back. Badass.

The Authority. Did anyone else think S&M when they hooked Beel and Eric up to those strappy black insta-stakers?

She's THAT Salome. Oh. She uses her sexual prowess to figure out vampires' true motivations. And it supposedly works? Does this mean Beel loves Sookie and Eric just loves himself? Also, I don't think Nora made a true confession, I think she was trying to protect Eric.

"The New Nan Flanagan" was funny.

Tara turning to Sam in her time of need was interesting. When Sookie confronted him my first thought was, why would anyone try to lie to a known mindreader? I think Sam was right - Sookie and Lafayette's decision to turn her makes total sense. They bought her some more time to settle her affairs and to actually choose her destiny. So I don't understand her crazed anger. And I think Tara is actually smarter than the way she's being portrayed. A tanning bed? You'd think Tara would know by now how to actually kill a vampire in a surefire way: beheading or staking. Duh.

Where's Jesus? Lafayette's reflection in the kitchen at Merlotte's and the bizarre bleach in the gumbo incident suggest that Jesus is still here, along with the dark brujo magic.

Sookie finally has Real People troubles. Lafayette was right: she should have just called the police (because she's white, after all.) Seeing Debbie Pelt's parents searching for answers strangely put me on their side. Alcide was understandably pissed. Of course he's not going to tell anyone, he seems pretty dog loyal. ;)

Your thoughts?

True Blood S5:E1&2 recap

Season 5 of True Blood is already two episodes in, and I almost did not do a recap. Truth be told, I think this season sucks. (But of course I'll keep watching.)

And it so very badly pains me to say that. I want to love this show that has been near and dear to my heart since 2008.

Right now, I'm just not feeling it.

Don't get me wrong. There are a couple of things I'm really digging, namely {SPOILERS} - all things Pam, Terry Bellefleur's fiery Iraq backstory, and Disgusting Russell Edgington making a comeback. That's about it though.

I could say a lot about what is So Very Wrong this season, but I think I'll be brief:

1) Vampire Tara = hell to the no. As she trashed Sookie's home and perched maniacally on the kitchen sink, I thought to myself, well is she or isn't she "fucktarded"? And I still don't have the answer to that question, even though I should. Ugh.

2) Jason Stackhouse keeping it in his pants/trying to develop a conscience. Um, no.

3) Eric banging his "sister." Eew. And they have absolutely no chemistry. Yep, I said it.

4) The Authority/Lilith-worship/there's even a vampire Bible - wait, who cares? They finally drew the curtains back and are showing us The Authority they've been mentioning for the last several seasons. Not impressed. Not scary. Seems like a missed opportunity.

5) Hoyt. Nobody believes you're really that pissed off.

6) Alcide. That scene in Sookie's kitchen was weird. I'm having a very hard time seeing him as a potential Sookie love interest. And the fact that Sookie was about to confess to killing Debbie until Lafayette suddenly ran downstairs and shut her up? No. Just no.

What are your thoughts on Season 5 so far?

True Blood recap - S4, E12 Finale

Goodbye, Season 4! All things considered, I thought this episode was a rather nice send-off.

Except the I Choose Neither of You scene. Huh? I don't get it.

Why not date them both! You haven't even been outside of Bon Temps yet with Eric. You still think you have been fired from your job! You have nothing but time on your hands. GO ON VACATION with one or both of these men, Sookie. Get to know them. See the world. Live it up. Gah - her line of reasoning just made no sense to me. Moving along..

Farewell, Jesus! Now that was a total shocker. It seems that the fate of Tara and Lafayette must be to each lose the one they love at the hands of something supernatural. That was a horrible, horrible scene with the knife and Marnie's threats. Ugh, hard to watch. Lafayette should probably be a bit worried about being charged with murder - might be an interesting test case of the "I was possessed by an evil, dead witch" defense. My gut tells me Bon Temps isn't exactly a place where a black man can get a fair trial.

Sayonara, Nan Flanagan! I kind of saw that coming. Nobody calls King Beel and Sheriff Eric Northman 'puppies' and lives to tell of it. Clearly, The Authority and the "Factions" within in will be a major theme next season along with....

RUSSELL EDGINGTON! Welcome back, you! He makes me happy. Such a fantastic little villian. Glad he clawed his way out of the concrete (and like, duh, of course he was going to). By my calculations he was underground for about 13+ months. Long enough to go uber-crazy-crazy. Even crazier than his initial, televised spinal column ripping, You Killed My Talbot! batshit crazy. Watch your ass, Sookie.

And Sookie, you'd better watch out for Pam, too. I think it takes a lot of pain to make Pam cry like a babe in the arms of Sweet, soon-to-be-glamoured-again-for-the-bazillionth-time, Ms. Ginger. I don't know about that scene though. Something was off. The humor in that scene, busting on Sookie while bawling, now that part I totally buy. Pam is probably a lot more patient than that overreaction illustrated. But anyway, we get it: she loves her maker.

Adios, Debbie Pelt! We're in book territory now. If memory serves, that's also how Charlaine H took her out. Minus the part of course where Tara is about to die on Sookie's kitchen floor with a massively bleeding gunshot wound to the head. Nice cliffhanger, ABall! Which vamp will run through Sookie's door first? (Wait, did this all happen during nighttime? Yes, I think so.) I predict one of Sookie's vamps is going to have to turn Tara to save her. And I think it will be Eric. And I think this will make Pam positively apoplectic in addition to the state she is already in.

Jessica made one sexy Little Red Riding Hood. That's how you do Sexy Halloween Costume. And yes, Hoyt's analysis of Jason missing something inside was spot-friggin'-on. But you know what I've been wondering about? The perma-hymen. No mention of it yet with Jason. Hmm...

So Rene's ghost made a Halloween appearance - I loved Arlene's reaction. (You know, only bad things happen by that green dumpster in the back of Merlotte's.) Ghost Rene says Terry's new ex-platoon buddy is going to turn Terry into a Bad Guy, and Arlene needs to get Baby Michael out of there. Should be an interesting storyline next season.

Your thoughts?

p.s. The next TV show I'm going to recap weekly will be AMC's Mad Men, whenever the new season comes out in 2012. Hope you'll join me!

True Blood recap - S4, E11

I felt like this episode was only like 30 minutes long tops. It was really action-packed. And I can hardly believe the season finale is next week. Holy hell!

So many things about this ep totally cracked me up. Lafayette proclaiming: "Marnie just puked the bitch out!" Jason going down the row of 4 vamps telling each one off in turn. Andy Bellefleur's woods wandering then sexy romp with a putative fairy. Andy telling Arlene all about it in funny/bizarre detail. Her reaction. Priceless. I wonder what Andy's pinky promise to this fairy is going to mean for him next season. Could she be Sookie's actual fairy godmother?

There was some of that wild and crazy mix of the grotesque with the hilarious. Eric ripping Marnie's right hand man's heart out, and then sucking blood from the main artery as though it were a drinking straw, before tossing it to the floor. Eew. But funny. I love how this show can pull that off. Welcome back, Real Eric.

Pam busting out the bazooka that could have killed Sookie - you know, maybe Eric should have used a little foresight here. Of course Pam is going to have a Sookie problem given all that has transpired! And if you think about it, Pam truly has Eric's best interests at heart. Perhaps Sookie is not an appropriate love object for Eric given that she also loves King Beel. Really, no good can come from it. It is hazardous to the health of everyone involved. (And they have no chemistry, but I digress. ) Anyway, as a 1000-year-old, with the incredible wisdom that has got to come from all that experience, it seems to me Eric could have simply used a little of that "as your maker I command you" stuff to get Pam to come around. Now they're having a little tiff. Hmm...

Jessica, that was good of you to save pretty Jason's face with your blood.

Marcus met his maker at the hands of... Alcide. Not Sam, even though Marcus killed his brother. Because it looked to Alcide like he was screwing Debbie. But actually nothing really happened between them, even though she was scantily clad and sitting on her bed-- right? We saw the Scary Yellow Eyes again that I hate. Alcide needs to work on managing his macho dick shit. Now Debbie is going to run off, and do loads more V, and eventually come after Sookie like in the books, right? Nooooo!!! Can't say I'm loving this were storyline anymores...

Your thoughts?

True Blood recaps - S4, E9... and E10!

I've been away on a little vacay, but I'm back now. And I've finally watched the most recent 2 episodes. I feel like this show is definitely back in the saddle again. Now that all is right with my world, let's begin with a little SPOILER-tastic recap of Episode 9, a.k.a. the one that I will recall forever as "That Episode Where Sookie Dreamed of a Threesome with Eric and Beel**...

** As Seen Through the Eyes of a Horny 18-Year-old Straight Guy Who Clearly Watches Too Much HBO."

First of all, during the aforementioned scene, Sookie looked like she would fit right in as one of Hef's girlfriends at the Playboy Mansion. No stylistic complaints here, however... I just felt like there was this overwhelming straight male gaze thing going on, and it just messed it all up for me and I suddenly went into critique mode. It didn't really ring true as the sort of feminist-y dream I'd like to think Sookie would actually have. (Perhaps the double shots of V is to blame? Nah, just the producers at HBO.) It was as though her "dream" was more performative for the straight male HBO audience instead of what an authentic, empowered Sookie who loves both of these vampires and wants open relationships with both of them on her own terms would REALLY be all about. Because you know if this were the dream of say, Jason Stackhouse, and 2 imagined women he loves there would of course be some hot faux lesbian tropes being trotted out. But alas, there was not even a hint of sexual tension between Beel and Eric (and BTW, R.I.P. Queen Sophie-Anne. They should have just had sex already. I would have loved to have seen that, too, honey.)

Moving on... I personally hated the Scary Yellow Werewolf Eyes thingy. Debbie, I love that you were watching "Cheaters" in bed and then pretended to be asleep. Alcide sucks like that. Too bad it is interfering with your addiction recovery.

The "Go to the Light" scene under the tree in Hoyt's yard was a nice mix of funny/sad/campy. I heart Terry Bellefleur so much for his "We still love you, Lafayette" line. Nelsan Ellis played Lafayette to perfection as usual. So "Virgil" is the name of the no good very bad girlfriend and baby son murderer? I predict a clever backstory in the future, and am wondering if it has anything to do with the Bellefleur/Compton family tree.

Nan Flanagan's gratitude at never having been a maker after Jess' bloody-eyed breakdown totally cracked me up - reminded me of Pam's reaction last season to meeting Arlene's kids at Fangtasia. Is Nan perhaps more good than evil or vice versa? From his basement sleeping chamber for 3, I think Beel simply needs to replay the tape for The Authority of Nan's insistence that the Tolerance Event go on as planned despite all of these spellbound necromanced vamps running around. Yes, but as Nan says "there are Factions"... and that will probably be highly relevant next season.

Sam and Luna on a camping trip where he turns into a bunny for her daughter = precious, but also made me think "vulnerable." And Fatal Attraction-esque, which might be spot on when you factor Marcus into the equation.

Jason and Jess in the back of his pickup truck. Oh man - I hear New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" playing. No discussion of the perpetually recurring hymen though. Jason is a shitty, shitty friend. On to the next episode -

Episode 10 = Sookie in Peril! I liked the silhouette of Alcide running and carrying her through the woods - it evoked some classic Hollywood cinema for me. Then those silly, creepy yellow eyes again - nooo! Now Eric is a zombie! But seems to have retained a little residual love connection with Sookie. Then dying Sookie drinks more of Beel's blood and it even removes bullets! I adored the pained subtlety in Beel's face as he and Alcide watched over Sookie on her sofa. Fantastic acting there; beautiful scene before the opening credits.

The Tolerance Event turned out to be a real shitshow, natch. I soooo did not need to see the Hannibal Lecter-esque synchronized intestine popping out routine though. Sookie used the fairy force and brought Eric's memory back (I liked how they showed that in flashback format, starting with Viking life) while simultaneously saving Beel's life. But one thing fucked it up for me and it was THAT GODAWFUL SWEATSHIRT WITH THE HEARTS ON IT! Um, 1987 called and Blossom wants her sweatshirt back. NOOOOO!!!!

So real Eric is back, huh? And he "loves" Sookie. Hmm... I'm still not believing it. The acting and the chemistry is just off. Nice scene though between Sookie and Eric in the parlor at Beel's when Pam shows up. Yes, why didn't he summon her immediately? I'd be disappointed, too, Pam. Yeah, I don't think Pam and Sookie are going to be all buddy buddy like in the books.

Holly and Tara chanting in Latin to try to bust out of the MGE? Though it reminded me of the chanting Tara and the residents on BT did when under Maryanne's influence. Wonder if that is at all significant.

Jessica refusing to glamour Jason because she herself will have to remember it and feel the guilt? YES! I say Amen, Jess!

Debbie and Marcus? Ugh. Seriously, Debbie. How can you go from the likes of hot Cooter and dreamy Alcide to that short guy with a fugly weird hairline. Again, It Must Be the V making you do it.

I loved Terry's rehab of Andy at Camp Bellefleur. Seeing Andy try to wrestle him was hysterical.

Tommy Mickens' deathbed scene was... what's the word I'm looking for? Gross. Yes, I believe that's it. Was the foaming, gurgling bloody mouth really necessary, people? But hey, it brought Alcide and Sam together.

Lafayette saying "It's a Latin Thing" to explain Jesus's Dia de Los Muertos-looking changing head was excellent. It's that wonderful mix of funny/scary again that this show does so well.

The very last scene was a bit much: The Vamps vs. Marnie in a Matrix-style showdown where they're just going to blow the place up and be done with it. No supercool vampire powers will be used? Just gonna wear black, walk in slow motion to some rockin' music, and launch some bazookas, eh? You might as well be humans.

Your thoughts?

True Blood recap - S4, E8

I think Pam's hilarious line "This is fucking lame" in response to Beel commanding her never to harm Tara, has got to be the best, most accurate summation of the events of this wacky "Spellbound?" episode.

Where do I begin? Let's start with what was good.

Lafayette. So fucking funny, and such a wonderful scene stealer, as always. I'm enjoying the unveiling of the backstory of the female spirit who has jumped into Lafayette's body. Now the creepy doll that was originally found in Hoyt and Jessica's house but kept showing up again, even after Jess threw it into the lake, is finally making some sense. Apparently, Hoyt's home is the same one that the spirit's no good-very bad white married lover used to live in. And something awful happened to their baby son. Honestly, that was the most intriguing story within this episode.

Second most intriguing bit to watch was the sad unraveling of Hoyt and Jess's relationship. Am I sick because I enjoyed Jess' juicy/sadistic dream of how it ended so much more than how it actually ended? At least she didn't glamour Hoyt this time; Jess has finally learned the wisdom of that old adage 'you gotta be cruel to be kind.'

I'm surprised Jason could resist her extremely sexy vamp charms - actually, this is one of the characteristics I like best about Jessica: she is still really only 18-ish years old and is trying to negotiate her vampire identity, and she screws things up a lot. Getting disinvited on the same damn night from the homes of 2 male mortals who are extremely attracted to her? Wow. Jess needs to hang out with Pam more.

And Beel! I'm surprised at how much I'm liking King Beel, and loathing Forgetting Eric, although Eric's idea to run away with Sookie is about the only thing that made much sense in this episode.

In short: we need more Pam, more Lafayette, more Arlene, more Lettie Mae, hell, I'll even take more of Andy Bellefleur's crazy cracker-ness.

Now, on to the bad....

The way Jason saved Jessica in Beel's foyer just did not ring true for me. Am I the only one who felt this scene violated some rules of vampire physics? As in a human could not just tackle a vampire to the ground. And then carry her around Beel's basement and tuck her into silver chains all romantic like? It just seemed off.

Eric and Sookie. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! I've been as patient with you fakers as I can be. You simply have no chemistry. I don't believe for a minute that you're in lurve and want to have sex with each other. That bed romp in the snowy woods was laughable. (Even my DH said so, after the scene was over he turned to me and said "You must be really disappointed." Exactly.) And the worst part was they had to go and tease us with what started to look like The Shower Scene of the books, but devolved into some silly, fairytale-ish camp with nonsensical dialogue and fur blankets carefully covering all of the naughty bits. HBO, I know you can do better. Stop being so tasteful already. Look, I know Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are newlyweds, and therefore maybe she and Alexander Skarsgard are feeling pressure to hold back and that's what's coming across... I don't know. What I do know is I'm not sure I can stomach much more of this. Let's hope the spell Antonia cast on Eric will bring the mojo back.

Alcide, why did you have to go and make a promise to Debbie that you knew you were going to break that very same night? Figure your shit out! In the meantime, do feel free to serve us up a steamy sex scene with Sooks, or Debbie, complete with lots of close ups.

Tara, why are you such a follower? I really do want to like you, but I'm tired. Stop being so literal.

Tommy Mickens, forget the blood and guts all over the neighbor's sidewalk - watching you skinwalk as Maxine was the grossest thing in this episode. Did I actually hear you offer to screw the salesman while skinwalking as Maxine in exchange for a better financial deal? Yikes! New low there.

Your thoughts?

True Blood recap - S4, E7

Hands down, this was one of the all-time sceeeriest TB episodes yet. (Jessica, don't die!!) I don't know about you, but watching Jess escape from the chains and the cell, then ignore Beel's freaky command as her maker, and finally crawl across Beel's foyer freaked me right the eff out. And yet, the cutaway to the scene with Maxine Fortenberry's foam hair roller-clad neighbor suddenly bursting into flames ("I knew it!") had me totally cracking up. Yet another great mix of the sceeery and the funny.

I really enjoyed the sweet conversation between Jess and Beel. I don't know how Jason is going to save the day on this one.

Oh, Tara. (I think I like Toni better, too.) Um, do you see a pattern here? Your penchant for blindly following powerful women with names that begin with the letter M, who suddenly turn out to be all supernatural and nihilistic? I predict Sookie is going to get Eric to somehow call off Pam's bloodfeud against you.

Pam, glad you finally got your fabulous self to "the healing kind" of doctor. The thought of an eternity of vamp botox would make me want to rip someone's throat out, too - You Tube be damned. Oh, and I heart you so very much for that pink coffin. Ginger definitely deserves a raise.

Eric and Sookie, somehow I'm just not feeling the afterglow. There was a lot of "Do I really want my memory back?/Will you still love me once I remember all the sociopathic things I've done for the last 1000 years?"-ish discussion. Which made me start to question their overall strategy: since Eric has all of these fabulous residences all over the world, and since Sookie still thinks "Sam" fired her, and clearly they're ambivalent about getting Eric's memory back in the first place, AND just about the only thing they're 100% certain of is their desire to keep Eric from daywalking, then pray tell why not just fly off to Eric's apartment in Paris, or even his "windy shithole" of a farm in Sweden? But no. Instead they choose to wait it out in friggin' Bon Temps, Louisiana? This would be the TB equivalent of people who see a tornado coming and choose to watch it from the roof of their double wide.

Speaking of people who ain't feeling the afterglow - Alcide and Debbie stumbling upon Eric and Sookie in the woods? Ugh. Yeah, I can see why Debbie might start getting a little crazy about this whole dynamic of 'I so obviously am obsessed with Sookie but won't admit it.' Snap out of it, Alcide! You're making ME crazy.

Lafayette, ok so now we know you're a medium, and you see dead people whispering to demon babies in your kitchen. Kind of sucks to be you - but your talent is probably going to end up saving all the vamps of Louisiana and maybe even the world, too. Marnie is the only other person on the show to have your gift. I think that's significant.

Andy Bellefleur, you are one of my favorite hot messes on the show.

Tommy Mickens, you are not.

Luna, I hope you get to enjoy a little piece of the real Sam Merlotte sometime.

True Blood recap - S4, E6

See, I was sure King Beel wasn't about to actually kill Eric. What would TB be without Eric? I was surprised by how moved I was by Eric's dying declarations, although they seemed so very, very un-Eric-like. He loves Sookie and just wants her to be happy - and clearly Beel feels the same. Reminds me of post-Enlightenment Godric, actually. I'm kind of starting to miss the old Eric of the badass, hilarious, stylish, Barbarian, "Viking god" variety. Gran did tell Sookie via her psychic enemy that this was only temporary. And I hope for Pam's sake this is all only temporary.

So we didn't get the infamous Shower Scene from the books, we instead got a lovely, tasteful Moonlit Woods Scene. I don't mean to complain. Really. But, and I'm just wondering here, why were there no close-ups?! I mean, could that camera have been any further away from the action? I honestly couldn't tell if Eric was actually making love to Sookie or if they were just hooking up. And I even watched that scene more times than it is probably normal to admit, but I still couldn't quite tell. Even though it was a bit faux sex/Skin-e-max-tastic for me, it was still a great scene though. Bizarrely, I think this is the first time I've ever wished for a more graphic depiction of something on TB! And I loved the "I Wish I Were the Moon" song that went with it - so perfect for the weary Beel on his balcony scene. Not sure if I totally loved the song for that particular Sookie and Eric moment though. (Do you happen to know the person who wrote that song, too, @mom2boy? Reminded me of Mazzy Star. I should look it up.)

Big sigh of relief time - Jason is not a werepanther! Can I just say how happy that makes me? I wish the Hot Shot storyline would go the same way as the Mickens storyline. Speaking of which, brilliant call about the significance of Luna's skinwalker story in the last post's comments @Haley! Watching Tommy pass himself off as Sam was seriously creepy, though I thought Sam Trammel did such an amazing job with the acting - it really seemed like Tommy was Sam. Impressive. And can I just say poor, poor Luna. That sucks.

Jessica suddenly running off to "save" Jason, who says such funny/idiotic things, was a really fun exchange to watch. "Think of somewhere safe" (he gazes at her cleavage.) It was nice to see Jessica happy at last as a vamp. You know, seeing her with Hoyt reminds me though of those high school sweetheart/long-distance relationships that people sometimes maintained once they went off to college. Good Guy, but... I'm also wondering if vampire medicine has come up with a cure for unwanted hymen regrowth.

I also enjoyed the fire scene and it's aftermath over at Arlene and Terry's. Loved the awkward scene between Sheriff Andy and Holly - yet another amazing character actress on the show. Who is the mysterious young African-American woman Baby Mikey saw, dressed in 1950's style clothes? I'm pretty sure she's benevolent. I noticed that the shot of her whispering cut over to a shot of Lafayette holding Jesus - I sense a connection there between her and Lafayette's family. Maybe Lettie Mae somehow attracted one of their Thornton/Reynolds family ancestors who is watching over all of them?

I'm starting to get a tad more interested in the Alcide and Debbie Pelt storyline. Funny, I was watching the first of the recent Tobey Maguire as Spiderman movies from a few years back, and noticed that actor Joe Manganiello also played the bully who goes after Peter Parker in the middle of the hallway and gets spidey-punched down the hallway. He looks so much better as Alcide. So far I find the Debbie Pelt of the show much more intriguing than Book Debbie.

As for Lafayette and Jesus - what a crazy, unpredicted scene with the rattlesnake sacrifice! Yikes! Crazy Grandpa Brujo seems to have suggested vis-a-vis the blood magic that Marnie/Antonia is actually their real enemy, and that Lafayette is really the one with the magic in him - and now some creepy looking uncle spirit currently inhabiting him has been added to the magical mix. My money always has been, always will be on Lala.

Now about Antonia Galvan(?), the O.G. witch who once caused all vamps in a 20-mile radius to meet the sun... She has got to be one of the most sympathetic supposed "villians" I've seen in awhile. Vampire Sheriff Luis? Hear that sound? That's rough justice calling. You best be kissing your rapist ass goodbye right about now. Can you blame her (or Tara?) for thinking the world would be a kinder, gentler place sans vampires? That's one of the things I enjoy so much about this show. As in real life, few people are all-hero or all-villian. The show always manages to explore these kinds of ambiguous moral grey areas so deftly.

Your thoughts?

True Blood recap - S4, E5

Well, Gators love marshmallows, y'all. Which means sayonara Joe Lee and evil Mama Mickens! And hasta la vista to Joe Lee's nasty tighty whitey underpants, too! Whew, that felt good.

Oh Andy Bellefleur... I was already afraid enough of police misconduct, then you came along with all your flagrant civil liberties-infringing shenanigans this season. There's no internal affairs division in Bon Temps, I presume. Don't your loved ones know you have some sort of serious addiction going on, beyond the drinking problem of course? With all of those boundaries you keep crossing on Sam Merlotte, one of these days Sam's anger management training won't be sufficient enough to keep him from feeding YOU to the alligators. Speaking of which, Tommy's interpretation of the various Commandments he violated rocked. It was odd though that Sam chose that moment to confess his own murderous past to Tommy - bet that will come back to bite Sam in the ass.

And Portia Bellefleur... trying desperately to make the case that she and Beel could legally keep getting it on was at once sad and funny. But mostly icky. Thank you Beel for being the voice of reason. Beel should have definitely added the suggestion "You find incest revolting" as he glamored away her affections.

Lafayette had a couple of good funnies in this episode - "that dog ate my homework" stuff isn't going to fly with vampires!... and calling Jesus "goat killer." I can't wait to see what kind of crazy shizz Jesus' grandfather the Brujo is going bring to the party.

Loved, loved, loved every scene involving Eric. Scary Godric was an awful bad dream. I hope Beel doesn't get to the Stackhouse home in enough time to cockblock Eric from getting a piece o'Sookie. (Please, please, please let them have the Shower Scene from the books!! Doubtful, I know. I bet they're just going to have time enough to smooch, then Beel and his goons will show up.) But um, Sookie, before Beel takes Eric away, could you please ask him to change out of those horrible gym shorts? We know from last season he looks great naked. M'kay thanks.

Death Becomes Her aka Beekeeper Pam, I think you are actually warming up to King Beel. I actually liked the tough Beel I saw engaging with the 4 remaining sheriffs, including the one (Luis?) who knows the Ancient Witch inhabiting Marnie from back in the day. (And calling Google and Fox News the most powerful human institutions today was absolutely priceless!) Pam, if it were any other royal, or even Eric were you not his child, they might have given you the true death for disobeying a direct order. Beel perhaps thought having a half-rotten face for eternity was punishment enough. BUT... I can't believe Pam 'accidentally' slipped and revealed Eric's hiding place. That didn't quite feel true to the impervious Pam character who is the most ruthless and loyal person Eric knows. I think Pam knows deep down that Beel will not actually kill Eric, and that somehow having Eric in Beel's custody will give her and Eric the best fighting chance. Yes, even though Beel tried to incapacitate Eric last season with cement. Ok, so that doesn't exactly add up in a perfectly logical fashion, but let's put logic aside so they can keep telling such a good story.

My hands down surprise favorite scene though? When clean and sober Lettie Mae Thornton, I mean Mrs. Rev. Daniels, and her holy rollin' new hubby did the song and dance routine complete with a smudging ritual at Terry and Arlene's house to cleanse away "Rene's ghost!" Too funny! "You people"..."I mean people who are religious...." = brilliant! I absolutely love these wonderfully kooky side characters - Lettie Mae and Arlene are 2 of my favorites and it was great to see them in the same scene. I don't think it's Rene. I've said this before, but I think this is a riff on the recurring 'ritual can be dangerous' theme of the show, and that Arlene and Holly invited a demonic entity into the unborn Michael. And clearly this demonic entity has a fondness for playing with matches. Creepy!

Now about Jessica-Hoyt-Jason (cue New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" here). What was Jess smelling on Hoyt's right shoulder? The scent of Jason? The V-induced sex dream where suddenly Hoyt was in Jess' place was too funny. I hope Jason reveals this to Sookie so she can set Jason straight about the romantic side effect of drinking a vamp's blood.

Your thoughts?

True Blood recap - S4, E4

This season is getting soooo gooood!! Oh my goodness, they totally nailed it with this episode. Where do I begin??

So much Eric to lurve! Butt-slapping, nekkid Eric drunk on fairy blood, swimming in broad daylight with the delightful Old Swedish word for "crocodile." How is Sookie ever going to avoid hittin' that? A kiss would have made all of us happy.

And there was a little bit more of Alcide. Amen, Sookie, I wouldn't have wanted to look away as Alcide undressed either. Yum. The Alcide of the books never looked nearly this good in my mind. Readers of the books are probably wondering when Debbie Pelt's born again facade is going to wear down, and the She Wolf is going to come out.

And no more Hot Shot Ghost Daddy freakshow shizz! (I hope, anyway.) I wonder if Jason will fall in love with Jessica after drinking her blood - or if Jess will be tempted by him - that lovely soft focus camera angle of her face over him as she fed him certainly makes me wonder.

The coven storyline is getting really interesting. Marnie's "goddess" is an old witch spirit with a talent for throwing just the right spell book off the shelf at just the right, freaking' scary-ass moment, and was around at the time of the Inquisition, and probably holds some sort of grudge against Eric. But what she did to Pam's face? HOLY SHIT! She turned Pam into the Goldie Hawn character from Death Becomes Her. Not cool. How Pam didn't retaliate and kill every last one of them is beyond me. Seems like this season is all about playing with the various physical limitations of vampires, and giving the humans some power. I'm liking these twists.

The baby and his red marker! Wow. I'm thinking the attempted miscarriage scene with waitress Holly (?) and Arlene and the ritual in the woods last season has invited some troubled spirit into little baby Michael. One of the recurring mini-themes of the show is the power of ritual - I think there will be some Maryanne-level reactions to that ritual regarding this kid.

Now let's talk about the Compton/Bellefleur family. WHY did they have to go there? Portia, in open court, a good lawyer is never supposed to ask a question they don't already know the answer to. Did you REALLY need to follow him outside and ask Beel why he suddenly left your house, as your Grandmama went to bed suddenly not feeling well? Yes, ok, so the viewers needed it spelled out for them. Am I the only one who just felt kind of sad for Beel? It seems like he really relishes the chances to sit around with grand, elderly Bon Temps dames. The scene drew some comparisons in my mind to Beel's courtship of Sookie in Season 1, how he really sounded like an old Southerner when he talked to Sookie's Gran. I guess I'm also kind of shocked that it took him until 2011 and an encounter like this to find out who his progeny are - but hey, they're telling a good story here.

Oh, and I'm SO OVER the whole Mickens family. Ugh.

Your thoughts?

True Blood recap - S4, E3

Spoilers...

I fina-effin-ly got to watch Episode 3, and can I just point out how sad it is that I was feeling irate, and even dare I say a tad depressed, because my usual Sunday evening routine of watching TB after the kids go to bed was completely disrupted by the fact that my kids didn't want to go to bed until friggin' 10:30pm! Because that's when it finally has been dark enough to actually persuade my kiddos that it is, in fact, bedtime. Then I kept getting cockblocked by various life events every other night of this week, and I eventually watched it 5 days late, grrr... Full disclosure: because I was so desperate to see the show, I actually climbed into my 21-month-old's crib last night so she'd fall asleep - and she did! And did I mention I am tall and kind of weigh a lot, but have one sturdy ass crib (IKEA Gulliver from circa 2007), and she fell asleep in 3 minutes and I got what I wanted? Perhaps unlike saving one's virginity until marriage it was all worth the struggle and the wait.

There is a lot of fucked up shit going down in Bon Temps. Beel and Portia doing the nasty (if you've read all the books, you know *exactly* what I mean). Jessica glamoring the memory of their fight out of Hoyt's pea pickin' brain right after he told her not to. Eric's hair suddenly resembling a blonde version of the Jim Carrey character's mane from the movie Dumb and Dumber. (For the record, Eric can still have me though.) That grimy, scary, Twilight Zone-looking doll that keeps showing up! Maxine Fortenberry ordering more of them on the home shopping network while the man she makes call her "mama" schemes of defrauding her. Hands down, the most effed up thing of all can be summarized with two words, and they are--

Ghost Daddy.

Holy effin' shizz - that lineup of hillbilly werepanther chicks just waiting for their turns? Hell to the NOOOOO!!!! Poor Jason, talk about no good deed ever going unpunished.

My favorite moments were every single second that either Eric and/or Pam were onscreen, including the way Claudine got snatched and eaten out of nowhere, and the hilarious look on Eric's face when he was done... the feet washing (nice biblical imagery)... Pam not even bothering to hang up nor say anything to her man-meal when Sookie telephoned about Eric being in trouble... Eric calling her "Snooki" and rambling on in Old Swedish... the masculine decor of Eric's cubby that screamed James Bond's love shack on a submarine in the middle of the Arctic to me...

The dynamic within the coven debating what they're going to do about their Eric problem is getting interesting for me - as Marnie said "he had no right" indeed, but it is a testament to the quality of the screenwriting that we can totally understand and even perhaps agree with both sides of the conflict. Yet another nice allegory for balancing the rights of the people in power with those of a minority group, A-Ball.

What I really want to know is the backstory on the old spirit inhabiting Marnie (Hallow from the books?) who Eric recognized from a long time ago. Also, I'm not so convinced that Beel set Eric up in the premeditated way that Pam assumes.

Your thoughts, fans of the fang?

True Blood recap - S4, E2

It's starting to get gooooood! And by that I of course mean we saw even more Eric!! I was initially bummed that Episode 2 did not pick up in Sookie's room, right where Episode 1 left off, but they got back to the Stackhouse residence soon enough. Loved the scene in the kitchen, "there are 2 Sookie Stackhouses...." and Eric's offer to make home improvements. And Eric has built himself a cubby (or "hidey hole" as the books call it) at Sookie's... almost as though Eric is anticipating spending some time there very soon (fake amnesia?... cough, cough.)

SPOILERS... duh, again.

The scene with the ritual in the coven! Oh my! That was scary and good. Tara's presence there seemed a bit of a non sequitur though - they really wanted to show her getting roughed up by a vamp against her will yet again... wonder where that will take us? Tara, Vampire Slayer? All that cage fighting in New Orleans might be the prep work. Lafayette apparently does have the magic in him - I heart him so very much. After searching a bit online, it seems the gist of what Marnie chanted in Latin to Eric was "Saves Question Omni Strepeto" or "I strip from you all that you know." Yikes. She also seemed to have stripped off half of his clothes. No complaints here.

Just a thought - perhaps unlike in the books, Eric is actually faking this bout of witch-induced amnesia?? I dunno, I just cannot see Eric being out-strategized by Beel and Nan Flanagan long term. Something tells me Eric is biding his time, and may be faking all of this to secure his place in Sookie's life, among other things.

DH made an interesting observation - slowly but surely, very few of the characters on the show are merely human anymore. In addition to all of the fairies, supposed demons, vamps, shifters, and weres, now Lafayette is a witch; Tara is still being trailed by demons/evil fae (what was up with that quick, freaky impression of evil Queen Mab Sookie saw hovering around Tara for a moment when Tara showed up at Sookie's house?); Rene and Arlene's baby Michael probably has "666" etched somewhere on his little head (I loved the scene where Arlene's eye goes wack - nice mix of funny and creepy); Jason's about to go panther (and can I just say again how much I'm hating the Hot Shot storyline)... It is starting to look a lot like Hoyt, his mama, and the Bellefleurs are the last untouched humans. Hmm....

Pam, as usual, has all the best lines. String pulling - LOL! Eric can pull my string anydamntime.

Beel, it was fun seeing you in 1982 London with That Hair. It broke my heart just a tiny little bit to watch you banging your redheaded coven spy in the bed that you and Sookie once called your own, but I get it: you were just effin' some other lady so you could protect the true identity of the woman you really love from evil Nan Flanagan! Riiiight.