True Blood S5:E8 recap

Did anyone else notice how many people were held against their will in a wide variety of circumstances in this episode?

Lafayette was just released from captivity (thank gawd for the V in the first aid kit!!), then there's the anti-shifter redneck Sam brought to justice, Jessica, probably Hoyt is now being held (@Haley, I bet you're right and ex-Sheriff Dearborn is the one in the truck on the other end of that gun), the Mean Girl at Fangtasia from Tara's old high school, the unfortunate mother of a 4-month-old baby, and the young male track star... yep, pretty much everyone and their mom was someone's hostage this time around.

Alcide's love scene = thank you. We needed that. More please!

Of course the V-supplier for the pack is none other than Russell Edgington - he's been doing that throughout history. Now I'm sure he's just playing along with the I Love Lilith crowd. I think Beel is, too. Will Eric silently slip out of The Authority HQ now, or does he still think Nora can be saved?

Lots of quality Beel-ness went down in this ep, which I enjoyed. It had been awhile. Did anyone else catch that Stephen Moyer directed this episode? The Beel flashback to his daughter Sarah's deathbed in 1910 was an interesting scene, reminding us that Beel is this show's Tragic Hero. Presumably, he refused to turn Sarah, and she died a miserable death. In fact, I'm positive he didn't make her immortal because the now-dead Magister from seasons past who ordered Beel to turn Jessica (as punishment for staking Longshadow in order to save Sookie) said Beel had never been a maker before. Interesting how the old parental guilt he probably feels at having made that choice ultimately led him to behave so appallingly towards the human Salome offered him to feed on, but then again, how could Beel have ever saved the woman from the clutches of a much older vampire? Well, couldn't he have at least glamoured her? Reminds me of how Beel once left human Tara high and dry at Russell Edgington's house.

Luna skinwalking as Sam - now that was unexpected! I laughed at the mustache ride sweatshirt she stole from another patient. What are the skinwalking rules again? A shifter becomes a skin walker when they kill their own mother, but if they do it too much they get violently ill, puke a lot, and possibly they die? Where are they going with this? Sam Trammel's acting was spot-on, his body carriage really made it look halfway believable.

Good for Lafayette for finally charging for his medium services! Patrick or Terry must die at the other's hands. Sounds like just desserts. (Please let it be Patrick.) The bit with the flaming candles on the table was classic horror-movie fun. The show is really facile about mixing the supernatural with social commentary about mental illnesses - Terry's PTSD, Lafayette's mama's schizophrenia, etc.

Sookie and Jason discover the vampire who killed their parents is named Warlow (sp?), and is Sookie's new psychic friend. He gets my vote for Lead Villian of next season.

Your thoughts?

The Childcare Swap

My best parenting "hack" is the Childcare Swap. Why this idea hasn't caught on with people like me who don't live around (helpful) family and who don't have a money tree in their yard is a total mystery, because I think it is genius.

We used to have the common problem of not having enough uninterrupted couple time, plus not having enough time alone in our home without the kids. Turns out the Childcare Swap is the free solution to these problems. Love it!

Here's how it works. You find another family nearby, preferably with the same number of kids and with similarly-aged kids as your own. You agree to take care of all the kids at your house for a day, and they agree to take care all of the kids at their house some other day. Simple.

Here's how we arrange it. The family we Childcare Swap with has 2 kids; our boys are 10 months apart, and our girls are 3 weeks apart. Neither family has any helpful relatives nearby. We started doing this last year when our kids were 3.5 and 1.5. When we first proposed the idea, the other family jumped at it.

We watch all the kids at our house once a quarter, usually on a Sunday at the beginning of the quarter. Then, several weeks, later the other family reciprocates. Bizarrely, we've noticed that taking care of all 4 kids is so much easier than just taking care of our own 2 kids - because they are totally entertained by each other all day long. The kids absolutely love it and beg us to put more dates on our calendars.

Today is one of the happy days that the other family will watch our kids at their house, so DH and I are off to have a free, day-long date. Ta ta!

Try it, you'll like it!

True Blood S5:E7 recap

Was someone just saying this season hasn't been scary enough?

Well, "It's already been broughten!!"

Top Scary Moments in this Episode

A tie between -

1) The New Orleans bar massacre, in particular watching the little kid being assaulted by the vampire with the deformed face, and

2) Lafayette's poor lips. Holy fucking shit!

But, like I always say, one of the show's best features is it's ability to mix the scary with the outrageously funny. Such as Russell Edgington's unexpected duet to "You Light Up My Life." (He gets me every time.) Plus I enjoyed the funny/scary drunken vampire frolic through the French Quarter, with Beel on Eric's back, and The New Nan Flanagan getting all buddy buddy with Russell.

Vampires forgive and forget like no others. If you think about it, several vampires were sworn enemies just last episode and in seasons past, (Russell vs. Everyone, Steve Newlin vs. Everyone, Beel vs. Eric, The Authority vs. Beel & Eric, Pam vs. Tara etc) but now the wacky Lilith V has brought most of them all together... to do what?

As the weres are saying "the end of days is coming." Was he really about to give little Emma some V? Holy hell. Martha protected Emma like I thought she would. Alcide in the barn - they make a damn good looking couple. She'll probably die in the fight though.

Ghostly Godric always shows up at the right time, doesn't he? Eric, take care of your sister. He will. Lilith was just a mass hallucination?

The new vampire-human hate group clique Lilith's blood has created pairs nicely with the new human-supernatural hate group clique Hoyt has joined. Oh Hoyt. Seriously? I know there's a thin line between love and hate and all, but you really want to murder Jessica? Hate groups are about folks who are missing love and acceptance, nice touch A-Ball.

Sookie and Jason could not figure out the meaning of the word "luminescence." Why do all fairies sound like middle class Brits? As Sookie tries to get rid of all her fairy light she could probably zap more than a few mosquitoes while she's at it. In the meantime, she needs to stop believing Beel and Eric whenever they in any way indicate they've taken care of Russell.

Speaking of Russell, I find it hard to believe he is so religiously convertible and malleable. Someone of his gravitas, wit, and cynicism? It seems like he should be just playing along, probably seeing what will come of it. That, or maybe Salome really is that persuasive as to the existence of Lilith.

Sam the crime fighting dog - I like it. Kenya's reaction to him sniffing the gun store floor was priceless.

Sad Arlene watching her wedding video - aww. I half expected a smoke monster to show up on tape. Terry and Arlene really had a good thing going. She'll keep holding on.

Lettie Mae Thornton "I'm a minister's wife now" riiiight.... visits Fangtasia and sees Tara working the pole while her master/new mother figure watches (nicely crimped hair, Pam, I bet that took hours.) Ugh, what a painful scene. Pam can't quite hide how she is starting to care for Tara. "A hundred years from now you won't remember her" sure sounds nice, but then again in Eric's case, still avenging his dead Viking family, and even in Beel's case, breaking things off with his descendent Portia, well, it is not exactly true.

Lafayette goes to Mexico to confront Jesus's loco brujo uncle. Gah. Most painful, gut-wrenching scene ever on the show? Yes. Yes it was.

Your thoughts?

Don't hate the Mayer, hate the Game, plus the odd Butterly Effect

I've left a lot of comments in a lot of places (most notably here, here, and here) this week about what I'm now utterly convinced is great news for women everywhere: Marissa Mayer, a 37-year-old pregnant woman, has been named CEO of Yahoo.

As @mom2boy put it so well in my comments section: "Take that glass ceiling." Yes, it really and truly is fantastic news. Full stop.

Of course, the response hasn't been all unicorns and rainbows though. I've learned a lot about certain corners of Corporate America this week, and about what's possible, and about what the costs might be.

At first, I'll admit, I was (and am) disappointed by Mayer's seemingly anti-feminist statements that could have been cribbed from Rush Limbaugh (feminists are "militant" and "have chips on their shoulder"... holy hell, I can't even defend that shizz), but upon further reflection I finally have begun to understand the social meaning of her words within the very specific, boundaried space of American tech culture. Now that I have a better handle on the relevant background assumptions of this culture, I think I can read her statements in their proper context, and see her remarks for the kind of coded language they probably are.

She's a master player of the game, no question. One of the unbreakable rules of this game might be don't you dare undermine the meritocracy myth cherished by the male tech geeks who actually control the system, or else they will fuck you up, apparently even if you're their boss. In 2012, it seems there is still no magical pinnacle you can ever reach in a large American tech career where it is safe to let your feminist flag fly if you wanted to. Can this really be so?

If true, what a sobering reality. And one I am, alas, in no position to refute. I simply note that if you take Mayer's words at face value, it's easy to conclude one can really get ahead by vocally distancing oneself from feminism. What Mayer actually believes in her heart is an open and probably irrelevant question. This all reminds me a bit too much of the progressive community's response to the appointment of Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. He also played the game extremely well. [Insert disclaimer here: not all members of underprivileged groups must vocally and at all times support the liberation movements for those same groups. Duh.]

Against this backdrop I say: Don't hate the player, hate the game. The game sucks. And by game I, of course, mean patriarchy. Don't hate on Mayer for making it despite the odds being stacked against her. Be happy for her. Be happy for the hope her promotion to the CEO title gives to women, that yes, it is possible. It may not be terribly likely if you're an outspoken feminist who won't hide your true feelings at work, but nevertheless it is possible, and she proved it.

There's one other aspect raised by all of this that's been on my mind this week. There's this false and troubling Butterfly Effect-esque idea out there that whenever a woman becomes a mother, her work choices can start messing things up for all of these other people - many of whom she is not even related to, nor has ever met before.

Walk this through with me and tell me if I'm wrong.

Odd Butterfly Effect argument, Example #1 - If a mother stays home, and lets her husband be the family breadwinner, according to believers of the Butterfly Effect-esque idea, she's messing things up for his natural competitors at work by giving him unfair time and resource advantages against them. If he's somebody's boss, it's constructed as her choice to stay home that's responsible for making him choose to penalize those of his employees who would rather not work long hours and to favor those employees who do work the longer hours. The fact that he's an asshole is not assigned any responsibility. (My, what power this mother has.)

Odd Butterfly Effect argument, Example #2 - If a mother works outside the home in a corporate setting, she's got to return from maternity leave at the socially correct time, instead of the time that might feel right for her personally, or else - Butterfly Effect! Other parents she doesn't even work with are going to be harmed! Her choice to resume work before using all of her paid time is constructed as undermining the work/life balance opportunities for other people, even those of people who work at some other random company. Which brings us to Mayer's situation.

Mayer says she plans to take a 2-week-long maternity leave, which has some folks concerned because they feel it's too short. (Ironically, two weeks is still far longer than the vast majority of working mothers in America can hope to enjoy.) The most common iterations of this reaction are "she's a clueless first time mom who is just fooling herself" or "she's acting too 'macho' if she honestly thinks she can pull it off" (see the original Anne-Marie Slaughter fallacy: "Because I wouldn't do it therefore no one can"). I actually believe this is still yet more coded language from Mayer - the CEO of a public company would rather not see her company's stock go right into the shitter because she was foolish enough to make an in-stone proclamation 3 months in advance when she can, of course, change her mind if her postpartum reality differs from her initial estimate. Also, I haven't heard anyone mention this possibility yet, but often the full leave benefits only accrue after working at company for at least a year - I'm even talking about professional jobs where 12 weeks might be the norm, you still might not be guaranteed to get it if you've only been working there for a few months.

Does a choice that, by the way, Mayer hasn't even technically made yet, really and truly harm any other employees? Inside or outside of Yahoo? I don't necessarily think so, given that the real harm is being done by the people who are in the actual positions to say yes or no to a leave request, as well as those who have been running the places with the policies that have sucked for so long. Possibly I'm wrong though. Many who are critical of Mayer's two week maternity leave announcement are citing the supposed Zoe Cruz precedent (who didn't take the full time off herself then was apparently hostile to folks at Morgan Stanley who wanted flex time).

Can't we at least wait until Mayer's leave is over before we assess what the verdict is for folks at Yahoo? In the meantime, let's blame the actual people in charge for the issues that continue to plague us elsewhere. You know what kids say - "You're not the boss of me!" Blame the actual boss of you. That said, I get it though - Mayer is an easy scapegoat; she's been all over the news lately, so she's a convenient person to blame for the fact that the corporate game too often just plain sucks. Hate the game, not the player. Hate the game, learn to play it better. Or stop playing (full disclosure: that's what I did). Or start your own game (also what I did).

That's all I've got. Sock it to me now.

True Blood S5:E6 recap

Fantastic episode! Truly, this was one of the best in a long while. It covered a lot of territory but seemed like it was only about 15 minutes long. And to think only a few short episodes ago I was sipping the haterade on this season. Well, I stand corrected!

Let me begin by saying how much I thoroughly enjoy Denis O'Hare in the role of Russell Edgington, and I'm so glad he's back in the saddle again. He totally owns that role, and it works. Talk about cheering for the villain. I hope Russell sticks around beyond this season: "Fuck The Authority!"

The scenes in the haunted asylum of doom were just awesome. Beel fake glamouring Sookie - "you belong in the sun." They have such natural chemistry (and in real life they are apparently expecting twins in October.)

Cheeky, tricky, delicious, conniving Eric is back!! Glamoring away Alcide's romantic interest in Sookie while at the same time commanding Alcide to defend her with his life - well played, Mr. Northman. I have a feeling you'll be doing the ol' mattress mambo with Sookie again in no time. Let's pray it actually looks sexy next time though. It was funny how Sookie figured out what Eric had done to Alcide - "you recoiled from me??" Loved it!

What was up with the bus massacre of the human witnesses? Is *every* chancellor of the Authority scheming behind Roman's back?? I think Salome is going to be the next Grand Pooh Bah of the Authority, and she's just biding her time until she gets rid of Roman. Nora is a true believer? Seems like Eric now thinks so.

Back at Authority HQ, when Eric tried to warn them that Russell is the strongest vampire he's ever known and they'd all better watch out - once he said that I knew Russell would be busting out of there, but I was totally surprised by how fast it happened. When Russell's insta-staker failed and he turned the tables on Roman then apparently staked him in return, Roman did not immediately turn to red goo - his face got all weird and veiny and puffy. So has Roman really met the true death? Makes me wonder if Roman has some sort of vampire equivalent of a bulletproof vest going on under his golf shirt. I suppose we'll find out first thing next episode.

Moving on to the show's other vamps - I'm loving Jessica this season. It's such an interesting contrast - Jessica's humanistic values and "upbringing" from genteel Beel compared to the tough love, alpha-tastic way Tara is being "raised" by ruthless, fabulous Pam. Why can't everyone just get along? ;)

Lafayette's visit to his mama - who also sees dead people, naturally - was fun to watch. "Jesus loves the little faggots!" Ah, the priceless writing on this show.

Arlene is one of my other bizarre favorites, and when Cursed Terry finally broke it all down for her and came clean about the things he did in Iraq when he was most certainly not "just following orders" - I loved her response about getting back on his meds. Arlene has moxie, and she has to be responsible for 3 little people - and what a sad goodbye. I know not everyone is a fan of The Ifrit/smoke monster storyline - but I'm also seeing it as a mini nod to actress Carrie Preston's real life - her husband is Michael Emerson who played Ben Linus on "Lost," home of the original smoke monster that held people accountable for their sins. Hmm...

Sookie and Jason visit fairyland/Moulin Rouge - readers of the books will be more than a bit suspicious of the motives behind certain "fairy tales" - namely, the convenient story about the vampire who killed the Stackhouses because he smelled Sookie's blood on an old band-aid in the backseat of their car. Is that even true? Will they try to pin it on Beel? Eric? Russell? We know from prior seasons (old newspaper clippings found in Beel's home) that Beel might have been following Sookie since her childhood. We know the fae hate the vamps and would like to turn everyone against them. For me, this is all leading up to a Supernatural Brawl of Epic Proportions.

Which brings us to the shifters - Luna's alive! I'm pleasantly surprised. I'm enjoying Martha the Were Grandmama, she plays it so cool. Despite the fact that she raised an evil psychopath of a son, no doubt her house is the safest place for Emma. Isn't that how real life parenting decisions go down, too?

So it's some rednecks from Bon Temps, who know Hoyt, who are killing the shifters and some random vamps. Why do I think somehow the fae are behind this?

Your thoughts?

Is it just me, or are there no good TED talks?

Is it just me, or does everyone and their mom tend to get all "You've got to listen to this amazing TED talk!! Here's the link, you'll absolutely love it and be inspired by it!!" with you?

And I go, "Ok, [because I just love to waste time on the internets so much] let me listen to what the esteemed author of 'Eat, Pray, Douche' has to say about life."

So I give it a listen, and then I'm thinking "Wow, that sucked out loud." May I please get my wasted time back now?

I kind of want to swear off TED talks... but am wondering if there really are some worthwhile gems somewhere in TEDland. Anyone care to talk me out of it?

True Blood S5:E5 recap

This season has finally hit its stride - I'm totally into it now. (Though DH has actually stopped watching.)

"Boot and Rally" was this episode's name - aw, Sookie, I feel like you have your mojo back. It's so refreshing to see you in a decidedly non-damsel in distress role for a change! She kicked some serious ass at the haunted sanitorium of doom. Her speech before they all went into the abandoned hospital -- where clearly nothing good can ever happen -- reminded me of the best parts of the Scream movies, with the funny/pithy horror movie rules. Nice touch. Anyone else notice the admiring way Eric was gazing at Sookie when she went in first and told everyone to go for it? Eric has a thing for bravery in human women (Madam Pam's desirability comes to mind.)

The whole trip through the haunted sanitorium of doom was a great mix of the camp and the scary that TB usually does so well. Was anyone else concerned that they didn't immediately get those poor people down from the hooks?

I predicted Sookie was not going to actually do the deed with Alcide (at least not this time), and I also feel the need to point out that Alcide did not do the whole "narrate what Sookie's home is smelling like" thing after she vomited on his shoes. The other odd thing I found myself was thinking was, if she did happen to have sex with Alcide, would she have the proper birth control given she's never really needed it before?

The other highlight of this ep was the initial exchange between Tara and Jessica over the bar at Fangtasia. That was like the vampire version of the "It Gets Better" videos. Go Jessica. Then things all went to pot. I could not believe Tara fed on Hoyt, after telling him to go home to his mama. And that she did it right in the bathroom stall next to her only real vampire friend? And then they fought over it. WTF?

I think Luna is dead. I think Sam will live. Who is trying to kill all the shifters? Next season's villian(s), that's who!

So was it Nora or Salome who dug up Russell Edgington?

How will Lafayette exorcise the blue brujo who tried to kill Sookie? He didn't need to say that when he ran into his living room. I loved the scene with Lafayette's mom and Jesus's talking head, and the little talking religious icons Lafayette smashed into his carpet. Yikes.

Your thoughts?

Burger King's Bacon Sundae

When I heard about the new Bacon Sundae "available for a limited time only" at Burger King, of course I had to go try it.

Because bacon is delicious.

Don't gag.

And yes, I do dine on the swine.

So I parted with my $2.23 and was handed a ginormous hot fudge and caramel vanilla sundae with a huge piece of bacon standing straight up in the middle of it, with lots of other big pieces of bacon in it.

My first thought was: only in America.

My second thought: Is this gross or genius?

My 66-year-old dad and my 4-year-old son were with me that day, and we all tried it.

For my money, I enjoyed it. I've had bacon desserts in trendy restaurants this year, so I am open-minded about adding the bacony goodness to the sweet. They should have torn the bacon into smaller pieces, and mixed it in more thoroughly, and then added more chocolate and caramel sauce. BTW, this is something that would be very easy to make at home if you had all the ingredients on hand.

My son wanted nothing to do with the bacon - he just wanted the chocolate sauce.

My dad was laughing hysterically, and almost refused to eat it. Then he tried it.... and loved it. The mix of the salty and the sweet took him by surprise. He also thought it was probably a good way for the restaurant to recycle their unused bacon. LOL.

Anyone else actually tried it and care to weigh in? Or is the very idea just far too horrifying for the locavores?

True Blood S5:E4 recap

Who knew that fairies like to party like Cirque du Soleil and "Moulin Rouge" just got together and had a baby?

"Jason, the vampires killed your parents!" ... "Be quiet, Hadley!" ... BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!

I bet whichever vampire Sookie "finally" ends up with will turn out to be the one who offed her mom and dad, in yet another shocking act of betrayal. Beel or Eric?

Did anyone else think the peeping tom scene with Beel and Eric watching through Sookie's window was kind of hot? I bet they'll interrupt before Alcide can close. Which is a shame, because I thoroughly enjoyed watching the two of them make out on her couch -- thanks, of course, to Sookie's fruit-flavored liquid confidence. One minor criticism though. Must Alcide constantly announce what he's smelling in Sookie's home, at each and every opportunity? Hey Sookie, your kitchen smells like ammonia on top of bleach! Hey Sookie, you smell like mint and peaches! We get it - he's a canine and yes, they're blessed with an extraordinary sense of smell.

I should have been more disturbed by Alcide's caring but major lie to the Pelts, but I understood his reasoning and can see the rough justice of it. Although, come on - even when the body is found, there's simply no way Sookie would ever go to jail. A white woman in the South shooting an armed intruder in her own home? Please.

Vampire Tara is finally growing on me because at long last she is starting to act like her old whip smart self again, instead of a zombie fucktard. Loved the feeding scene with Pam and the blood donor. I also loved the scene where Eric released Pam. She's a maker now. I was so sure Pam wasn't going to rescue Tara from the tanning bed - I guess that maker/progeny connection is strong.

Who killed Sam's attractive shifter friends?

There are traitors in The Authority, and Roman will take them out with his super biblical stake! Gross.

Um, Lafayette's blue brujo alter ego tried to kill Sookie by messing up the brakes in her drivable lemon. Not much seems to be made of it.

Your thoughts?

A Happy, State Dept Parent's Response to Slaughter

Came across this great Slaughter response from Dana Shell Smith, a globetrotting bigwig in Foreign Service at the US State Department, titled "How to Have an Insanely Demanding Job and 2 Happy Children."

And what I want to say is A-fucking-men, sister. Tell it!

To me, Shell Smith's Both/And message of "With a lot of ingenuity and hard work, it can be done and your family can be happy" rings a whole hell of a lot truer than Slaughter's Either/Or message of "Despite my wealth, my family wouldn't make the arrangements that are necessary to have this particular job and make us all happy, so therefore no one else in the whole wide world can either."

Not to worry, Shell Smith's piece is much shorter than Slaughter's - in fact, you can read it in under 5 minutes. Dare I say, it is even almost as good as what most of my regular commenters could have written while half-asleep. ;) Yes, Atlantic editors, that's me taking a shot at you again.

Here's a flavor of the raison d'être for Shell Smith's response:

In conversation after conversation, my colleagues and I puzzled over why Dr. Slaughter's experience had so contrasted with ours. Was it because she had tasted another life, that of an academic who had a level of control over her schedule that we could not even imagine? Was it because she tried out government work while living in a different city from her family?

Regardless of why our experiences differed so greatly, I was left thinking not only about my own experience, but about the responsibility we women have to create change by introducing a different environment for the younger, more junior officers -- both male and female -- whether in government or elsewhere. After a stream of officers in the bureau I lead stopped in to tell me that they wished I would weigh in, I decided to add some of my thoughts and experiences to the conversation.

Bingo.

One thing about the reaction to this piece has struck me. That Shell Smith and her husband haven't seen a non-animated movie in the theatre in the last 10 years has apparently managed to make some people on the internets sad. But I say to each their own (obviously.)

Look folks, whether we choose to admit it or not, most (but certainly not all, insert privilege disclaimer here) of us are actually making time for the things that are truly the most important things to us. How do you spend most of your time? Then that's your actual priority right there. Ok, now consider my already dead horse yet again beaten. Honestly, what's so "sad" about a couple's filmgoing hobby taking a backseat to their family and careers for awhile? I'm sure they'll once again throw away their hard-earned cash at the cineplex when the kids are older! Can anyone ever win on the internets? Sheesh.

What I'm trying to say here is that Shell Smith's perspective is shared across many industries. My friend the successful surgeon and mother could have written this. And in my old corporate line of work, this is how the higher ups all make it work. Work and family are the top priorities. Friendships, hobbies, perhaps they're not as much of a priority, but they are also not entirely absent either. Take exercise for example - it often gets a lot of short shrift amongst this set. There's a reason you hear about people hitting the gym at 4:30am if fitness is a true priority.

They're happy to live like this. Really and truly. They're also telling the truth.

We all need to accept that not everyone shares our personality type. Not everyone likes the same things you do. We all define the term "priority" so very differently. The popularity of Ugg boots and the Kardashians are living proofs of that one for me. But I don't go around getting sad that not everyone is prioritizing downhill skiing and reading like my family does.

Hit me with your best shot...