Thursday, January 3, 2013

What I Resolve Not To Do In 2013

Obligatory New Year's resolutions post. I'm framing it in the negative this year. Sometimes I find it easier to achieve a goal whenever I'm able to frame it as "I will NOT do X" and opposed to "I will do X."

In 2013, I resolve NOT to....

1. Gossip. In 2012, I noticed I had some really uncharitable thoughts about a couple of local people who have nasty gossip habits. I resolve to do exactly the opposite: no more shit talking; only kind speech about others. I will also be brave enough to announce my discomfort with gossip. (Or framed in the negative: I will not be silent about my true opinion whenever someone is foolish enough to share mean gossip with me.) Instead of icy silence and a cold hard stare, followed by an abrupt subject change, I'll try something like: "You know, if she could hear you right now, it would really hurt her feelings to know you feel that way about her, so that's why this is just not an appropriate topic for me."

2. Allow my blood pressure get over 120/80. The way I choose to see it, my prehypertension diagnosis at age 34 was a real gift. It forces me to prioritize my heart health. In 2012, no longer did my cardio workout take a back seat to the rest of my life. Thanks to my blood pressure readings, my heart health went straight to the top of my priority list. And there it shall stay.

3. Avoid revealing my truest self to the people with whom I want to have deeper relationships. For years I've been saying I wish I had deeper friendships with local people. Well, if that is to be, then my high agreeableness, high conscientiousness, INFJ-self needs to do a lot more of the talking, and a lot less of the active listening. (Yes, that would be the exact opposite of what pretty much everyone else needs to do.) I've already gotten started on this resolution - I told a close local friend with whom I'd like to be much closer how I really felt about something, and she responded beautifully like I knew she would. Baby steps.

What do you resolve NOT to do in 2013?

9 comments:

Nataliya said...

I find I got so caught up in making everyone happy I've forgotten what it means for ME to be happy. I would like to spend more time doing the things I WANT to do, instead of doing the things I think I OUGHT to be doing.

:)

Jac. said...

Very noble.

I, on the other hand, resolved to stop putting my wet hair in a bun and dashing off to work, but instead to take 10 mins to blow-dry it. It looks better that way.

Cloud said...

I won't complain about my weight/looks in front of my daughters.

I am not terrible at this, but with my desire to lose 10 lbs, some negative talk has been creeping in. That must stop. I can only say I want to be healthier. Which is true.

paola said...

Not waste time. When I work longish hours it is very easy not to waste time seeing there is so little of it. As my job is seasonal and I will be going home to the winter slump, I can see, with the extra time on my hands, my slipping into bad habits. Must do more planning to avoid this.

oilandgarlic said...

I like the not gossiping one. I'm fairly good at it but then I really get out of the loop at work and family life. it seems like many people communicate important stuff as part of gossip.

Laura Vanderkam said...

Not gossiping is a good one. I resolve to not sit at my desk as much. I do exercise regularly, but that tends to be my break for the day. I've decided I'm prolific enough. I can go meet people for lunch or breakfast or (gasp!) go to a museum or something in the middle of the day.

Haley said...

Semi-related: I FINALLY took a Meyers-Briggs test and learned that I am an ESFJ and it is oh so accurate.

I am the person throwing the office baby showers and making people at parties feel comfortable and it all makes sense. I'm excited to make my husband take the test too, since we're so different. :)

Anonymous said...

I resolve to not hate myself. Sorry to be such a downer but I guess I have issues.

nicoleandmaggie said...

http://xkcd.com/1176/