Sunday, May 13, 2012

Infant Adoption on Short Notice

Wow. My BFF2, who recently underwent successful cancer treatment on top of an unsuccessful, 5-year-long fertility struggle, just found out yesterday that her and her DH's dream is about to come true. They are going to be able to adopt a healthy, 4-month-old little boy via a private adoption. Happy Mother's Day indeed!

Little dude will be there in one week. Hallelujah, but also OMG. This is the shortest notice of an adoption I've ever heard of (obviously, the legal aspects will officially take much longer, not to mention the risk of the teen biomom changing her mind...). But they're optimistic, and have to proceed as though it's happening.

BFF2's DH emailed everyone with kids asking what to buy? How to prepare? Holy cow, HELP?!

What have you got, readers? (I made a short list, I'll post mine after hearing some of yours.)

Happy Mother's Day!!!!


Anandi Raman Creath said...

Ergo carrier! That was my favorite, most useful baby purchase.

Cloud said...

Given the amount of baby crap we had, I'm surprised by what a hard time I had answering this question! Also, having a 4 month old seems like ages ago...

But here are my top three items:

1. One of those floor mat/baby gym things. Get one with a bell. Watching the baby ring the bell with his feet will be cool. It also provides a fairly guilt free way to try to get some time when you aren't holding the baby. Even my "hold me at all times or I'll scream" first baby would play on the mat for a 5-10 minutes. And my laid back second baby would play for what seemed like ages.

2. My sister in law gave us an awesome hand puppet when Petunia was born. It was a great way to have interactive play with a little baby.

3. The only parenting book I recommend is Bedtiming, to get you through the almost inevitable sleep issues with your sanity somewhat intact. Seriously, I wish I'd had it when Pumpkin was little. I would have felt like less of a baby sleep failure. But it hadn't been written yet.

And don't feel bad about the fact that you end up making constant trips to the baby store/Target. Even those of us with the full 9 months to prepare did that. I will also say that we bought way more toys than strictly necessary. It made us happy, and kept our babies entertained. We could afford it, so why not? We still don't worry about toy overload as much as some people do. The toys that make it through intact get donated to various good causes. Now that Pumpkin is 5, we've started teaching her about not getting everything she wants. OK, we started that earlier. But we didn't worry about it during the baby years. So if your instinct is to "over buy" and you can afford it, I say go for it and don't feel bad.


Zenmoo said...

Swiss ball (or fit ball or whatever you call them in the US). I found it a really gentle way of rocking my girl to sleep with bonus core muscle strength building. It might help stave off back problems as her baby grows!

Also, hand cream. All that hand hygiene post-nappy change dried my skin out really badly.

nicoleandmaggie said...

Wow! Good luck to them! That never quite knowing if it's really going to happen this time part of adoption is a roller coaster.

A ring sling or an ergo... some babies are perfectly happy being put down on their own, but some need to be carried all the time and a sling helps so much if that's the case.

Nataliya said...

prepare and freeze meals :) I found that to be the BIGGEST sanity saver. Everything else falls into place.

Claudia said...

Congrats, and wow! I can't imagine going from "hm, maybe we'll have a kid someday" to having a 4-month-old baby in one week. My head would be spinning.

They need what the others said (especially the precooked meals!), and one of those recliner hammock thingys, that baby can lay in upon the counter while you make dinner/take a shower/empty the dishwasher. And lots of coffee dates with mom friends! Will they/she have maternity leave?
I also recommend the rubber sheets for the crib, plus a terry sheet to keep him from sweating, a good chair in baby's room for feeding (presumably he'll be bottle fed), and above all, lower expectations about how much the regular house stuff will be done.

Claudia said...

Oh and duh! A link to Ask Moxie!

hush said...

Thank you!! Each of you has suggested something I have on my list, so I feel very validated in sharing it with them, namely:

Ergo carrier
"Bedtiming" by Marc Lewis & Isabela Grancic
Play mat for the floor
Aquaphor (for chapped hands)
Bouncer or swing (preferably borrowed)
Frozen meals
Link to Ask Moxie
Moses basket
outfits with feet that can be unzipped or unsnapped without lifting over baby's head
SLR camera like the Canon Rebel series and link to an online quick tutorial
open a 529 plan for baby's education

He will be formula fed. Mom no longer has the breasts with which she was born. I also suggested they use whatever bottles and pacifier the baby is already using. They should avoid soy formula, and should mix it in a pitcher with filtered water.

Anandi Raman Creath said...

one more - we had hand sanitizer at the changing table in case it was inconvenient to get right to the sink for handwashing.

They don't need an SLR if they're not into photography - a good point and shoot like the Canon S95 provides some great options (and is phenomenal in low light).

Got It, Ma! said...

Oh my goodness, I drew a total blank. I guess that's what happens when your kids are 7 and 10. I have apparently forgotten everything I ever thought I couldn't do without when they were babies. Except Aquaphor which was the only thing that helped our dry hands and their sensitive skin diaper rash.

I never had Moxie when mine were little. Wish I had! A link to Ask Moxie was one of the first things I sent to my sister-in-law when her baby arrived last February.

Such a happy event. Sending lots of positive wishes that everything will go really smoothly. Very exciting!

oilandgarlic said...

Swaddle blanket? That worked for us in the early months, but some babies might not need it.