Thursday, July 29, 2010

Leaving On a Jet Plane

Tomorrow I leave for a blissful week in the UK, where I'm going to visit my newly-divorced BFF who recently moved there for a fresh start. This is my BFF since middle school who is ridiculously beautiful, and who will probably be married 3 or 4 times in her life and never have any children. But she is a total joy, and the closest thing I have to a sister. I actually hope she moves back to the states soon though. I think her living there aimlessly in the UK - jobless & childless, I might add... wait, that sounds heavenly - is not a tenable proposition for the long-term. She is already getting a rather generous pre-alimony payment but it is not enough for her to keep up with the exorbitant cost of urban living. And having nothing to do and nowhere to be is simply not good for her, because all she does with her time is think about her ex and how he totally rejected her. She seems stuck.

There is a part of me that wants to say to her: Um, how are you going to pay for your retirement? How are you going to psychologically move on from this? Because sitting in a flat you can't afford while claiming you also can't afford therapy makes no fucking sense really. What are your priorities? But I have been working very hard to keep my mouth shut and just LISTEN without judgment. She has a tendency to rebel against anyone who sounds remotely parental. She will figure it out for herself eventually. She always does. She is just one of those people who always lands on her feet, but often dangles very close off the edge. I swear her life has been a total roller coaster. She's poor. She's comfortable. She's poor. She's dirt poor! She's comfortable. She's rich! She's poor... not to mention her love life, which is, well, enviable to most men and probably to the Samantha character from SATC. (BTW the 2nd movie sucked out loud, except for the part about Lawrence of my Labia. But seriously, don't see it.) She's the friend I would call if I ever thought I had VD or needed an abortion. She doesn't even know the number of partners she's had in her life - I recall it was 22 at age 21 and she joked that she'd be one of those people with more partners than years on the planet. Meanwhile, I'm still on one hand. And still married. And with children - things she finds bizarrely intriguing now. Talk about vicarious living!

Drama follows her, and she definitely creates it. Oddly enough, I almost cancelled the trip because as of last week she thought she had bedbugs... and I can't afford a hotel and neither can she. Turns out she has a bad dust mite allergy that has given her eczema. Just glad bedbugs will not be following me home in my suitcase. Ick. Now I'm itching.

Anyway, this means ol' Hushie pie won't be back here until about Aug 8th or so... until then, hugs and kisses to you all. Thanks for stopping by. I'm going to need to watch next Sunday's episodes of "True Blood" and "Mad Men" though before I post, heck, before I unpack my suitcase and let those little bed buggies infest my house, right along with the mice!

Anyone else feeling me on the drama queen friend who you love & who is actually a great friend? Or on the mice or bedbugs? Or crabs? (just kidding)...


Melba said...

oooooooh are you going for a whole week without kids????? If so I am so jealous. Bed bugs wouldn't stop me.

Speaking of bedbugs, my sister brought some home from Spain in her suitcase once, and they infested her couch (thank goodness not her bed). She fumigated twice. Those little buggers just will not die. Did you know they can go without eating for like a year?? Anyway she ended up throwing out the couch. Yuck.

Claudia said...

Ditto what Melba said on bedbugs. They do. not. die. The good thing is they can't hop. So just keeping your stuff on a wooden chair/desk/whatever that isn't fabric and isn't on the floor can prevent them.

That drama is exhausting to me. Once we get to a certain age, I just think you've got to cut to the chase and live a life that's meaningful to you. I hope you have a fun time, not an exhausting one. And you're welcome to jump ship and come to rural Denmark and stay in our (bedbug-free) guest suite.

As for moving to the UK, I wouldn't do it. Their laws, security camera infatuation, and density of population freak me out. It's kind of a bummer, cuz it would be a relatively easy move if we have to leave Denmark in order for DH to get some work.

Anyway, bon voyage! Slam a pint of bitter for me.

caramama said...

Have a fantastic time! I'm soooooo jealous. I miss Europe. All of it. Heck, I miss everywhere and traveling in general.

As for the drama... I realized with some high-drama friends that I needed to simply sit back and enjoy the ride. I considered it a show of sorts, so I wouldn't get too emotionally involved in a roller coaster that I couldn't influence. I was just supportive and tried to be a positive person in general. Sounds like that's what you are doing.

I'll miss you and can't wait to hear all about it!

Jac said...

I am jealous on many levels. I am a total Anglophile (dual citizen) and love everything British. Everything. Periodically, DH and I talk about moving there, just for the adventure. Only hang up I have is that I love my work and would have to requalify as a solicitor in England. The thought of doing another two years of school breaks me out in hives.

Also, a week away from the family sounds heavenly. I hope you get to enjoy lots of long leisurely meals at establishments you would never take children to.

I have no drama friends in my life. I eliminated the last one a year ago. I just can't take other people's drama - I usually find that drama queen friends are actually not great friends, just kind of exciting to hang around for a while.

mom2boy said...

Hope your trip is fabulous!!

I have a very good friend that I've just realized is someone drawn to the drama even while she says she hates it. After having taken a step back to be able to see this I feel like I'm in a weird place of having to distance myself further or just try and be the friend that listens because telling her that the drama could be avoided if she wanted to avoid it would go over like a lead balloon. I have another friend who had a big DRAMATIC life until she went to rehab. She's so much quieter now both in word and action and actually seems happier. Dramatic friends always make me appreciate my little life. :)

hush said...

@Melba - Had to throw the couch out? Yikes!

@Claudia - Thanks for the Denmark invite! Several pints were slammed for you! ;)

@Caramama - "Supportive & positive person," Amen sister... easier said than done for me, but a good guideline to shoot for.

@Jac- Yes, I lived the dream. I totally get Anglophilia!! Even for hideous characters like Aldous Snow.

@mom2boy - You are so right about dramatic friends helping you appreciate one's less-dramatic life! I do enjoy the vicarious living!