tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post8255484287883056111..comments2023-04-30T05:23:27.355-07:00Comments on hush!: How Do You Handle Gossip?hushhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05532820460835325762noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-11700840789199852692012-11-13T07:47:20.135-08:002012-11-13T07:47:20.135-08:00@oilandgarlic - Yes, it makes perfect sense that w...@oilandgarlic - Yes, it makes perfect sense that we really notice once the gossip starts to seem particularly malicious and/or starts to happen during every interaction - by then it has become a pattern.<br /><br />In my situation, I recall two separate, one-off times when GG gossiped - then about the 3rd time she did it suddenly it became a pattern, and she began doing it every time I saw her. Clearly, I have some responsibility: I have not been providing the appropriate reactions that would put the brakes on it (such as silence, oral disagreement, subject changing, etc). hushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05532820460835325762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-28999390174967842862012-11-12T08:50:05.193-08:002012-11-12T08:50:05.193-08:00You know, I like to think that I avoid gossiping a...You know, I like to think that I avoid gossiping about people and most of the time I am too self-involved to gossip about others! Yet at the same time, I am sure that I do gossip about others and listen to gossip without too much thought, as gossiping seems to be part of human nature. I just don't think I notice or pay attention unless someone seems particularly malicious or gossips too much, if that makes sense.oilangarlichttp://oilandgarlic.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-60524769479477201382012-11-12T07:37:40.271-08:002012-11-12T07:37:40.271-08:00@nicoleandmaggie - I appreciate your regional anal...@nicoleandmaggie - I appreciate your regional analysis and think you're spot on. I'm half Midwestern and half Southern, and just like in your example, I think my half Southern-ness precludes me from feeling good about the silent treatment though it is often a useful, well-deserved tactic. <br /><br />@Cloud - It makes me feel bad, too - so I think Rubin is 100% correct that avoiding gossip ought to make folks happier.<br /><br />@feMOMhist - GG is exactly that person in our circle. Has limiting your interactions with your person worked for you? Did you give the person a reason for taking a step back, or did you just start being too perpetually busy to hang out anymore?hushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05532820460835325762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-40853570159971549622012-11-11T03:34:06.655-08:002012-11-11T03:34:06.655-08:00Sigh I'm sure I have a blog post on this becau...Sigh I'm sure I have a blog post on this because in our little academic village there is a person, who for reasons I DO grasp, has a NEED to "discuss" other people in terms that I'm sure other people would see as "malicious." It was OK, in that I could kind of deal with it, until she said something about sciDAD and I to a mutual friend and it got back to him, and then I was 'splaining my self to the spouse, and I thought "ENOUGH" so now I severely limit my interaction with her in settings that would allow such gossiping and censor myself when we are 1 on 1. It makes me sad, but we are a group of maybe 10? families in the same 'hood/uni. NO ROOM FOR dissent sowers :) feMOMhisthttp://femomhist.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-78990217699409172872012-11-10T07:32:38.110-08:002012-11-10T07:32:38.110-08:00I mostly avoid gossiping myself. It makes me feel ...I mostly avoid gossiping myself. It makes me feel bad about myself to gossip. When I hear negative gossip about someone else, I usually just try to change the topic.Cloudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09317847285050447789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-72175256184970967022012-11-09T14:31:06.770-08:002012-11-09T14:31:06.770-08:00Since I'm not on facebook I don't do a who...Since I'm not on facebook I don't do a whole lot of gossiping of any kind since I'm out of the loop. (Facebook having replaced word of mouth.) Generally I stick to the good kind of gossip because that's the kind of person I am. Though I did tell a secretary today that the guy who yelled at me during a faculty meeting today obviously has dementia. Because that's the only explanation I can come up with other than he's a sexist bully and that was probably the safest way to vent my anger.<br /><br />As a midwesterner, we school people who say things they shouldn't by silence, so that's my natural default when someone says anything inappropriate. (My MIL does this to me and it freaks me out.) Here in the Deep South that isn't appreciated as much, and I think silence is taken as assent, so not as effective. I also tend to verbally disagree with people if I disagree with them. People don't tend to tell me negative gossip these days, so maybe something I'm doing is working.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com