tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post3187114576883139148..comments2023-04-30T05:23:27.355-07:00Comments on hush!: When Bad Things Happen to Ok-ish Peoplehushhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05532820460835325762noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-89974088795910890302010-05-18T13:01:12.089-07:002010-05-18T13:01:12.089-07:00Yeowza! That's a tough situation. Too bad that...Yeowza! That's a tough situation. Too bad that she's had issues, but what can you do. As @mom2boy says, it still doesn't justify rude behavior. <br /><br />I also think your mom was right. Don't you hate it when that happens?caramamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-69054143770219465602010-05-17T10:50:01.987-07:002010-05-17T10:50:01.987-07:00@mom2boy - So true. I can't abide rudeness eit...@mom2boy - So true. I can't abide rudeness either, and am sure her health issues are no excuse. Your comment really made me feel validated, thank you.<br /><br />@Jac - I've always said it is easy to be friends with someone who dislikes the same things & people you do. There is an odd appeal about someone who "gets it," and has a really sharp wit about her opinions... but it can easily go too far and become ugly. And make you wonder if she is also gossiping about you from time to time. Love that Buddhist philosophy, thank you for that.<br /><br />@Cloud - Great advice as usual - it is always good to be nice. Today we start marriage counseling, so I will definitely focus on the relationship that really matters to me. More on that in a forthcoming post.hushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05532820460835325762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-72955901878364354932010-05-13T20:30:21.162-07:002010-05-13T20:30:21.162-07:00I don't think you should feel bad. You weren&#...I don't think you should feel bad. You weren't mean. You didn't stab her in the back. You just didn't "click".<br /><br />I agree that her exercise problem is probably linked in some way to her husband's infidelity. Who knows which came first? But wow, what a mess now.<br /><br />In your shoes, I'd probably try to be a little nicer than I had to be on the surface, but not force a connection that is not there. And I'd focus on the relationship that really matters- your relationship with your husband.Cloudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09317847285050447789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-864222199923883652010-05-13T09:29:02.299-07:002010-05-13T09:29:02.299-07:00I am naturally a bitchy, judgemental person and I ...I am naturally a bitchy, judgemental person and I have been working really hard over the past year to try to change that. This post reminded me exactly why. I guess you just never know the shit people are dealing with in their life. <br /><br />I'm not a psychologist but it seems to me that there is a direct correlation between the husband's "extra-curricular activities" and the wife's anorexia. This woman is clearly in pain. Maybe she didn't want to be friends because she didn't want anyone getting a glimpse into her real life. Or she knew that your hubby knew about Bill Clinton's affairs, and she was embarrassed to be around you. <br /><br />My ex-BFF (the emotional vampire) was a major gossiper. And I totally bought into it and we had lots of awesome little catty conversations about everyone, but I really began to dislike myself for it and it began to feel like the only time we were laughing was at someone else's expense. So, part of my work this past year has been to try to assume the best of everyone, rather than the worst. It's not easy, and I am still fairly bitchy and judgemental, but I am slowly becoming more self-aware about it and more forgiving of others. <br /><br />There's a great Buddhist philosophy that you should treat everyone you meet with compassion, as though that person were dying. Because they are: from the moment we are born we are all dying. <br /><br />I also think it's much easier on me to feel sorry for other people, rather than to be angry or resentful of other people.Jacnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8482270755935730046.post-40644612433803654852010-05-12T23:16:11.082-07:002010-05-12T23:16:11.082-07:00Hmmm...how much to say on someone else's anony...Hmmm...how much to say on someone else's anonymous blog. Her anorexia doesn't excuse her rude behavior. Everyone deals with their own shit but I have no patience for people who are just rude. I don't need in your face falsity - but a simple Hi, how are you would you like to join my friends and me (as you are new and I am exquisitely aware of this fact) for lunch one time as an ice breaker, wouldn't kill anyone even if all they ate for days was lettuce and mustard.mom2boyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00784436196685595115noreply@blogger.com